Actions Speak Louder Than Words

“What are you staring at?” a disheveled mom at the grocery story hissed at me.

Before I could answer, she spun around, and demanded that the clerk apologize—again—for accidentally bumping her cart with her newborn inside.

“I said I was really sorry,” the cashier replied meekly. “It was an accident.”

The angry mom turned her rage back towards me. She wagged her finger at Evie, my three year old, and Caleb, my four year old. “You’re the one with the crazy kids,” she yelled.

What had been a small supermarket mishap, one I hadn’t really been involved in, had suddenly turned ugly.

Caleb, who had been staring at the angry mom, turned his attention to me.

I paused, holding back my fury toward this mother for involving my children, and turned my back to her.

“Let’s zip up our coats,” I said to my kids. She stormed out of the store and I thought the situation was over.

But when we went out to the parking lot, she was circling around in her car, waiting for us. As I threw my kids into their car seats, she sped next to us, rolled down her passenger side window and started yelling at us again.

I climbed into the car and as she circled around again, I sped out of the parking lot. Thankfully she didn’t follow me.

As I drove, I couldn’t help but wonder how things had spiraled out of control so quickly. I wonder if I had responded in the right way. I didn’t stick up for my kids. In fact, I hadn’t said anything to her. The woman was right: my kids were acting crazy. Both of them were having major meltdowns. But would it had mattered if I had tried to explain that we were only at the store to get my sick son some juice and popsicles? Would it had helped if I had told her that Evie hadn’t napped and that I’d had a long day and my husband was going to be late? Probably not.

I wondered what the rest of her story was. She was frantic, almost manic, and looked like she hadn’t showered in days, and probably hadn’t slept in a while. Did she have postpartum? Did she have help with the new baby?

I looked in my rearview mirror. My kids had calmed down and had fallen asleep. They will probably see a lot more ugly behavior in their lifetime. But it’s up to me to teach them how to respond. As Christians, when confronted with a hostile situation, how should we respond—especially when we have little eyes watching us?

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Comments (12)

Wow! Great writing. Amy, welcome!
Welcome Amy! Looking forward to reading more of your writings. Sometimes not saying anything and walking away is the best possible thing to do.

This also does remind me to not be so quick to judge when I see someone doing something disruptive. I don't know their story either. Possible best thing to do when you're on the other side: Walk away and not say anything, or if you see a need to meet it. Even if that means you won't get a kind smile and "thank you".
Actions speak louder than words, sometimes not saying anything also helps the situation like you did. As angry as the woman seemed, sticking up for your kids probably won't have helped.

Yes, as Christians we have to learn how to respond the way Jesus would have responded were He in the same situation, that's what it means to be truely "Christ-like."
Whenever I encounter a situation like that, I apologize (even if I am not wrong) and ask them if they are okay...you seem upset, I would love to pray for you. I have never had a bad response back...people always catch themselves and realize how they are acting. I almost always hear the truth of whats going on and am able to pray for them. I am sure one day I will get a rude response back, but its worth letting them know you care...
Sounds like you live in New York City (hey, I live there!). Kidding aside, there have been many situations where we are confronted with difficult choices. Sometimes we are innocently involved in situations where we are not at fault and have the "right" to lash out at certain individual(s). But as you mentioned, we have many eyes on us. As a father of both a 3 year old boy and a 6 year old girl, I want to lead them to behave in a way that is first godly and second correct. It's not worth getting involved into a shouting match with people. Sometimes "peace, be still" is the best medicine!
Hello and welcome amy you just a vessle that god uses and uses well because you obey what god say's i'm please the you have joined the community to spread the love that god has laid on your heart to share and congrat on you adoption. God love you so much that he chose you to do his will in god grace amen
I say this amy as this was so touching for me that i will apologize to you for her as the devil uses whom ever he can to deceive to attack a child of god but it is up to us how we respones to satan trap i think my god is just tickle right now because you had to have put on the whole armor of god to with stand what you had been through right now i no my god is saying to you well done amy as he got the glory out of this not her may god graud your heart and mind and protect you from the seen and unseen of the ulgyness of this world cause i can't lie i do not know what i would have done or said and i know with out a doubt i need his daily walk every day in jesus name amen sister amy cause you belong to him.
Wow! You are to be commended for taking all of those different perspectives into consideration, before re-acting to what could have turned into a worse situation. I believe it was important that your children did not see you react, or that may have made them feel threatened by what was going on.
On the other hand without the children something definitely could have been said in defense to the womans ignorance. It could have even been something nice or sarcastic, but it would have probably cooled her head. We find different ways to cry out for attention as adults, which is hard to explain of how we are not acting like children.
I would guess this woman is nearly out of control. Not responding was wise. You could have encouraged an escalation that might have become dangerous. As a Fighter, I sometimes react before thinking, but not often when it's a "bully" situation. I've learned that doing nothing is safest for all concerned. I would have left in a hurry, too. I often pray silently when I observe people that are close to losing it. The victims are usually innocents. That's why I never engage them in conversation when someone else could get hurt. Your kids are probably fortunate that you did not respond.
wow i like that could have not put that in better words my way to go congrat.

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