Hospitality vs. Entertaining

This morning, my friend Dave told me to check out a blog post his friend Melanie wrote about hospitality.  So in an effort to be hospitable to my cube mate, I obliged.  And what I found was something very simple, but at the same time rather thought provoking.  She wrote:

The hospitality we offer to friends is not about making an impression, but about making them feel loved. So often when I prepare for people to be in my home, I spend all of my time cleaning the house, preparing a perfect meal and making everything and everyone appear just right. But do I take a moment to pray for our guests? Do I ask God to reveal to me any needs they might have so that our family might have the opportunity to minister to them? Not usually.

Today the kids and I were ministered to in the home of a friend from church. It was clear that she wasn't trying to impress us, but she and her kids simply invited us to share their day with them. It was peaceful, loving and enjoyable.

Having hosted a friend for lunch this weekend, this made me think a little bit.  I worried about the food.  Especially the pork.  I wasn't sure if it was done or not.  My wife said yes it's fine.  I wasn't so sure.  In fact I specifically prayed before the meal that we not be poisoned.  I digress.  But with all of the preparation of the food, I'm not sure if there was a preparation of my heart.  My wife and I regularly thank God for our house and ask that it can be a place where people grow closer to Him.  But before this meal, we didn't take time to pray for our guest's needs.

Fortunately, my wife and I are close enough to this friend that we naturally talk about what's going on in our lives.  So I have a good sense of how we can pray for our friend.  But doesn't is make sense to let God guide us in how we should be reaching out to our guests?  How are you doing when it comes to hospitality versus entertaining?

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Comments (8)

Great post. I've always believed that sometimes that our "hospitality" isn't quite what God has in mind. Many times, what we call hospitality is really entertaining to impress our friends and family which isn't much different from the world's idea of hospitality. I think hospitality is ministering to those outside our immediate circle, giving unselfishly, providing a place to stay or a free meal without any expectation of thank yous, kudos or applause.
Just ran across this site through a blogging community I joined, and wanted to say thanks for this post! I don't get many opportunities to be hospitable in terms of opening up my home, because I'm renting/sharing with other people. But I like the thought that I can be hospitable just by making mySELF available (not necessarily my home) to people, and by simply loving those around me as Christ would love them.

Thanks again!

-Tabitha
LOVE. LOVE YOUR BLOG. I just created a blog devoted to praising God so I was perusing like-minded blogs and was glad to find you!
I can totally relate to this. Oftentimes I won't have people over to our house, probably because I'm too focused on entertaining vs. showing hospitality. To me, entertaining means i need to have the house perfectly clean, make the right food that my guests will enjoy, and have the kids behaving themselves so I can properly enjoy the night with my guests. Because our house is not always the cleanest, and my dinner doesn't always taste the greatest, entertaining creates so much pressure that I put it off and say, "Maybe next month..." Instead of being so worried about the "Martha" issues, I need to focus more on the "Mary" things. In the Bible, Jesus tells the story of Martha doing all the work of entertaning -- cleaning, cooking, etc..while Mary just sat at his feet and listened to him. Jesus said that Mary had chosen the better thing.

When I sit near my friend on the couch and ask about how life is really going or play a game with her kids, I know that God is so much more pleased with me than if I had created the perfect entertaining environment. If my friend or new acquaintance feels loved and cared for in my home, then the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are enough.
Jerod, so often Christ followers are caught up in the 'Martha get-things-done' mentality r/t the 'Mary listen-to-the-Lord' calmness. I've been guilty of this in the past, but I have a new take the last few months.

Due to the pain of a broken back and coming off of a pain patch, my perspective has focused more on my cottage cheese ceiling than doing housework and all the other details of homekeeping. Actually, this is a useful time of reflection for me. The Lord has led me to an improved spiritual life and - as He always does - He's turning a really yukky time into a beautiful reflection of His glory. Praise God!
One of the points I stress as I train the group life leaders in our church is about the difference between hospitality and entertaining. I sum it up this way: it all has to do with where your focus is. Entertaining puts the focus on you. Your attention is on the environment, the food, the logistics. Hospitality puts the focus on your guest. They are the primary focus on your attention. Their needs come first, being in their presence is primary. We North Americans have subtly substituted entertaining for true hospitality. Unfortunately, that has filtered it's way into church culture and ends up being an obstacle to the community that God would have us experience.
What happened to prayer anyway? I say this because as mentioned we are to busy trying to impress, by the cleaning and making sure everything is just so. Like in some of the churches I have been in where the committee is trying to gather people so they can make up the rules as to who needs the prayers or what type of prayers they will need. With all of the committees and rules, the prayer gets lost in the turmoil of the preperations to give the prayer. If you get wrapped around the wheel, the wheel is all you see. Relax, ask God to guide you through what is needed. He will jump at the chance to give us his love and understanding. In God's Grace John
I've never thought of praying for our guests particularly for their needs.
It is really worth it to ask God what you might need to do for your guests. Not to make a name whilst it is not actually from deep down of our hearts.
This can work perfectly if we are living in fellowship with the Lord. God will enable us and hospitality to the souls (ministry) of our guests will take precedence to what we can show.
I've learn t a new thing from this article.
Keep on ministering!!! '.....Patriarchs ministered to angels without knowing it as they could come in men's appearance...'
acceptedagain.bogspot.com

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