More Hot Steamy Christian Sex

One of the insider jokes here at ThinkChristian is that one of our top-visited posts even now--month after month consistently in our top five--is from 2007. Consistently, search engines lead people to us to discover "Hot Steamy Christian Sex."

One of the ironies is that I talk about sex regularly. My wife and I lead marriage enrichment seminars and weekend retreats that cover, among other forms of intimacy, Christian sexuality.  (We once even gave the 'sex-talk' to a crowd of couples that included my parents and parents-in-law, which was another set of ironies.)

Sex is God's idea. He invented sexuality as part of the way we're supposed to be. He created us as embodied creatures, designed to bear his image and reflect his glory in the unity of body and soul. And the Bible is full of sex, some good, some bad. The Song of Songs, as many an adolescent discovers with shock, a celebration of sex, even hot steamy God-honoring sex.

So I'd agree with Joe Beam. No one should have as great and fulfilling a sex life as married Christians.

But you won't learn that from our culture. Seldom will you see married couples developing rich intimacy emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and especially physically. Our culture teaches that sex is something you take, rather than something you give.  And being surrounded by negative, exploitative images of sexuality, it's no surprise the church tends to remain silent or even negative on the topic. But we should change that.

Which leads me to mention a website I came across a while back. ChristianNymphos.org is a collection of married Christian women (using pseudonyms) who describe themselves as "women with excessive sexual desire for our husbands!" On their blog, they deal with questions ranging from a theology of sexuality, to a list of sexual positions, to surprisingly detailed sexual techniques. To be honest, the first time I read over a few of their posts I found myself literally blushing at their frankness. They state as their mission:

We are here to say to women everywhere:

“Be fully released to embrace all that God wants for your marriage! Ignite that intimacy with your husband, and grow in Christ together! Witness to others about Jesus, and at the same time, let them see you as a healthy, strong, happily married woman. Be a role model to other young women who need someone to look up to and talk to. Instruct them on marriage and don’t shy away from sexual questions they have. Young women need experienced women to talk to and get sound, Christian advice from. Let us honor God by showing these women what He wants for them in marriage!”

I have not read everything they have to say, but I was impressed at their thoughtful and generally theologically grounded advice to women on some touchy subjects (Using erotica as foreplay, for example, "is a form of pornography in my opinion and it is best be avoided").

As you might gather, this site is not for the feint of heart or underage. They are also clear that some links they list lead to less healthy and God-honoring material. But I respect their work as a ministry to married Christians.

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Comments (19)

Am I the only one brave, or interested enough to comment?! ;)

Thanks for posting this! I too was a bit unsure at first, but honestly I think this is a great website for Christian women who could use a little help in the bedroom.
So I am a Christian single, divorced man that has no sex life. No hot, steamy Christian sex. Haven’t had for 9 years. Does it bother me? Big time. As I am sure it does many others. So when you talk about the joys of physical intimacy and spiritual intimacy, I kind of put my fingers in my ears and sing La, la, la, la. The Christian nymphomaniac site sounds...interesting...hm...Christian nymphomaniacs...oh, and thay have sexual positions and techniques! Maybe I won’t click on it. Currently I am practicing the technique of putting my fingers in my ears. So much of the church revolves around married couples, adult singles don’t exist. You would think that family life, marriage enrichment and child raising were the main topic of New Testament.
rick,

though i am married and have a wonderful family life, i can somehow sympathize with you. and at the same time cannot imagine what you have to put up with all this sex talk. i will continue to pray for you for this...should i say obssession with "christian" sex...is clearly not edifying all of the body of Christ. pls do not take as having any condescension on my part but speaking as a sincere brother in the Lord. i hope that your walk with the Lord will be full of joy!

have a blessed day!

alvin

wow! praise the Lord brother.
Thank you Rick! I often times feel that some Pastors forget that not every member is married or a single under the age of 18 or became saved during childhood. And that being celibate isn't a walk in the park, especially if you weren't saved all of your adult life or previously married. I assume they don't want to offend us but some consideration of our plight would be greatly appreciated. *rant over*

With that being said I am sure this website is a ministry that people can benefit or in some cases think they are experts on...lol
I do understand Rick's comments. My church is about 50 percent unmarried (adults). And we are going through a four week series on how to stay in love (in marriage). But I will agree with the part that says that if we know about something going in, it can help. My pastor is spending a good bit of the time directly addressing singles (albeit with the assumption that most of them are going to get married).

I can't comment on the website without admitting that I visited and/or hoping that my wife might visit too.
Good points.

Also, I think this site risks playing into our culture's idea of talking about sex as a set of techniques, evaluating intimacy primarily/exclusively according to physical pleasure, and even enforcing the idea that the woman exists to please the man. And I'm not sure the word 'nympho' can be redeemed for Christian use.

But I do like the idea of challenging the idea that only males care about pleasure, that married sex is necessarily dull routine, and that talking about sex as Christians is taboo.
speaking of redeeming the word nympho... type nympho or nymphos into google.. see how close the CN site is to the top. I've seen it as high as #1. If that's not redeeming the word, what is? I think those ladies are doing an incredible job, and I'm sure a lot of people wish their wives were "christian nymphos"
Here is the definition of nymphomaniac or nympho:
nymphomania - a disorder in woman characterized by an overactive libido, extreme or obsessive uncontrollable desire for sexual stimulation.

Coco says "I'm sure a lot of people wish their wives were christian nymphos". We are talking about men (not people) here fantasizing that their wives have obsessive, uncontrollable sexual cravings. Sounds like a Playboy fantasy to me. It reminds me of when I was in Junior High and someone told me about spanish fly (an illegal aphrodisiac) and it's magical powers. These are adolescent male fantasies at best and dehumanizing, de personalizing, destructive perceptions at worst.

I always feel a little creepy when some sexually fixated male minister waxes eloquent about "Maximum Sex" or "Hot Steamy Sex" or the "Sex 365 Days Of The Year Challenge" or whatever the latest hyperbolic Christian term is. And I think unbelievers feel weird about it too.

I agree with Nathan Bierma's points..


if you read the site you'll see that they are only nymphos when compared to the popular idea of what Christian sexuality is. I do consider their husbands to be very lucky... Let's see... what would be better in marriage? A wife that thinks sex is dirty and sinful, or a wife that knows that sex is a gift from God, meatn to be enjoyed to it's fullest? I say if there were more wives out there like the CN spice girls, there would be a lot more happy marriages out there, and lot fewer divorces.

God Bless them, they read the bible, and enlighten the uninformed.

I am a happily married Christian woman who is willing to be used by God to advance His call for fabulous Christian married sex... I was inclined (after much prayer & consideration) to launch my own site: http://forums.ChristianWomenUn...

Many Christian women desire to ask personal questions of other ladies, but would never do so in person. Many Christian women suffer from complete lack of sexual desire and / or sexual satisfaction. That shouldn't be so! God gave us the gift of sex within marriage, to be enjoyed by BOTH partners.

It saddens me to think of all the married Christian women I personally know that do not have a thriving sex-life. My heart genuinely aches for them, as well as their suffering husbands...

I pray that more women reach out to their sisters in Christ for encouragement in their desire for genuine sexual satisfaction. I pray that more women come to truly understand that sex is meant to be pleasurable, remarkable even!

I thank God for His gift of sex, & hope that He will use me to reach & help other ladies discover this Biblical truth for themselves. Amen.
As a male minister who talks about sex (fixated or not), I do prefer to teach along side my wife--we lecture as a couple. And we do so for the very reasons you suggest. Sometimes my voice is less effective than hers, and our voices together are clearest.

And I certainly don't mean to primarily lecture women how to be sexier. In my ministry men need the most re-orientation. And notably, the CN site is written by women for women. Men are welcome only as guests who behave themselves.

And since these women chose Nympho as a proud self-description, as a male I'd hesitate to lecture them on how to describe their sexuality, according to Webster or not.
You may be doing a great job, you probably are.

But why is it always male ministers urging women to have more sex? (Do you really think men need to be urged to have more sex?) Josh McDowell presents "Maximum Sex", Ed Young promotes 7 Days of Sex, Paul Wirth gets press promoting 30 Days of Sex, Joe Beam travels around promoting Hot Christian Love, Ian Kerner's book, "the Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man".. It's kind of comical. And it guarantees press. Oh well. I won't comment anymore on this. La la la la.
Rick I don't think that is what is going on here. I think it is Christian women trying to talk to Christian women about how to have a healthy sex life. I have some issues with the 40 days of sex or whatever the things that churches have been doing but that isn't what they are doing. They aren't male, although they may be a little sexually fixated, it is clear from surveys of Christian women that there are some sexual issues that need to be worked out. About 30 percent of Christian women regularly look at porn, for instance. In national surveys about 35 percent of women are identified as having sexual disfuntion (pain during sex, inability to have or regularly have an organism, lack of desire for sex, etc.). Honest conversation about sex seems like a reasonable way to address some of these issues.

I certainly think it is a healthier way to address sexuality than the "Virgin Lips" movement that is being talked about on the Christianity Today Women's blog (where women pledge never to kiss anyone until their wedding day.
I was really fascinated by the many comments and sensed even a subtle tension and sarcasm from the singles. The apostle Paul was questioned about eating meat that was offered to idols, and the bottom line of that passage was about being considerate of others' feelings, viewpoints. Our freedom in CHRIST should not become a stumbling block to others because love fulfills the law. I don't think any of this is deliberate, but we can be blind to how our bretheren feel about things at times. Singles need to be encouraged equally as much as married people, but when you understand fully how GOD sees marriage, and once you finally experience it, you will see why so much attention is given to it. We all were once single, but not all once married. The BIBLE from Genesis to Revelation is in a nutshell one big courtship, marriage, and ceremony between GOD and man, so much that CHRIST likens us as his bride and HIMSELF the BRIDEGROOM so GOD is heavily interested in this union because it is an earthly expression of HIS whole redemption plan and expresses HIS relationship with us, HIS people. GOD lords over us faithfully without fail and with a tender love, not bossy or abusive which is how a husband should be and the church responds to that kind of love with willing submission living in harmony with their GOD. GOD is using marriage to show the permanancy of HIS relationship with us because HE never lets us go even when we let go, so the man carries the success and failure of the family on his shoulders and will stand in the Judgement for it. Satan is aggressively attacking marriages because he hates the gospel and will do anything to publicly shame the name of CHRIST and failed marriages is the perfect way to do it. We divorce because of pride, selfishness, and a lack of understanding of how GOD sees marriage and sex and money is usually the culprit. This is why marriage is given so much attention to because divorce does not show the faithfulness of GOD'S relationship to HIS people, so as CHRISTIANS we must rigorously fight for marriage because the gospel, which is the power of our salvation, is enshrouded in marriage. The apostle Paul said that to be single is in a way better because you are free to serve GOD in any way that GOD chooses with no inhibitions. Married people are more restricted because of family duties. We tend to think the grass is greener on the other side. Singles want to be with someone and couples want to be single again. Pastors, encourage couples to publicly and privately display the covenant of GOD with HIS people and encourage the singles to occupy until their mate arrives. Make them understand that if they really knew what marriage really entails they would probably run from it. The BIBLE explicitly warns against making an oath to GOD and breaking it. Marriage is no walk in the park either. More increasingly, couples fantasize about single life more than singles want to be married. When you seek HIM first and really set CHRIST as the object of your affection, all else will be in proper perspective. When you desire anything more than CHRIST, you are already headed in the wrong direction, even if you are desiring a good thing.
If you're thinking of sex all the time, chances are that you're not thinking about anything else, let alone God.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patient, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Which of these qualities of one who is born of Spirit and water, benefits from daily sexual pleasure?

Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Sex is definitely allowed and encouraged among married couples, but does it mean that you have to indulge in it?

What if it becomes an addiction? Didn't Christ come so that we can be free of such bondage? Then why are we tying ourselves back to the yoke of slavery?

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
I would suggest that sexuality is part of how we were created as God's image bearers, so it's a mistake to oppose sexuality against the fruit of the Spirit, for example.

I think a more helpful question would be how does one manifest the fruit of the Spirit in one's sexuality? How does one demonstrate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control in everyday sexuality? Toward a co-worker, or a struggling or desperate friend, or a person of the opposite sex, or even in the marriage bed?

I think a whole book could be written just exploring those dimensions.
I visited Christian Nymphos.org webpage. I don't understand how so many persons are wasting time in commenting the subject. If you put a non christian liberal adult to read the content and ask for his honest opinion, he will say what I saw: IT'S PURE, PLAIN PORNOGRAPHY trying to be disguised as christian site. I imagine the lot of hours of work of the publisher, many of them used visiting places to know more about sex toys in order to be fully updated to recommend them to other nymphos. BTW, the definition of nymphos shows clearly that the owners have a mental disorder. If you spend all day long building and filling up the page with such "advises" you should make an appointment with a christian psychiatrist. I'm serious, I'm a Medical Doctor. The whole matter is insane. I'm not again of sex at all, I have had a happy marriage for many years, including very good sex, but I consider myself an administrator of the time God gives me. How could a christian waste a considerable part of his time considering sex positions and the new sex toys in the market? Do they have time to read the Bible every day. Can they read in their devotions the advise of Paul in Phil 4:8 " Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."

I made what I didn't want....I'm wasting my time...A last thought. I wouldn't be surprised if in that website sex toys, explicit videos an other "blessings" are offered on net in a couple of years.

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