I was hoping to see how a Christian family is working though tough marital times. Instead, it was a sad look into how fame can corrupt a family of eight.
“Jon & Kate Plus 8” kicked off its fifth season Monday night. For those who watch the show there was much anticipation about how the family was doing after tabloid allegations that Jon (and recently Kate) had been cheating on each other. Promos for the show implied the couple would set down together for the first time since the last season ended. I wish I weren’t caught up in the hype, but for some reason, I couldn’t keep the TV turned off.
The Gosselins are an openly Christian family. In past seasons they’ve talked about their church and support from the people there in helping take care of a family of twins and sextuplets. As an example, volunteers would help with doing laundry or taking care of the kids. To TLC’s credit, the religious side of the Gosselins life wasn’t completely edited out of the show.
I think that’s why I wanted to watch the season premiere. I thought maybe this would be a chance for a married Christian couple, dealing with the issues of infidelity and fame, to be highlighted in a positive way. But instead it was another example of a family falling apart – just another example people can point to and say, “See Christians are no different than the rest of us.”
Throughout the episode, Jon and Kate were rarely together. They did their interviews separate (instead of being on the interview couch together). When they were actually in the same location, they rarely talked to one another. Throughout the episode, Kate seemed more focused than ever on the fact she and her family are celebrities. At times it felt like Kate was even ignoring some of the kids even though she was planning and throwing the sextuplets a fifth birthday party. The family that once was compelling to watch because of their realness has now become a victim to the drama filled, conflict driven reality television realm. The change happened so fast. Kate said, “very swiftly we turned into two different people.”
For me one of the toughest moments of the show came at the sextuplet’s birthday party when one of the girls told Jon she didn’t want him to leave anymore. Another tough moment came towards the end when a tear filled Kate talked about the fact the couple could be headed for divorce.
Then frustration set in. Jon said something along the lines that as long as he and Kate were friends, that would be good enough for the kids even if the two aren’t married any more. Any hope I had about a Christian response to situation was killed with that single comment. The show was over, not one mention of God or faith from this Christian couple. Maybe TLC edited out those parts. Maybe that’s wishful thinking on my end.
I almost didn’t write this post because in a way it makes me feel no better than the media that’s giving Jon and Kate all of this attention. I really want them to be able to work this out and the increased media scrutiny doesn’t help. I want to see a positive outcome not because I feel oddly attached to a TV family, but because it’s time for people to see a Christian couple that can work through tough issues using their faith and not just give up to being another statistic.
Fame must be a hard thing to let go. It’s clear the attention Jon and Kate were getting from the TV show was starting to cause strain in their personal lives well before the last season ended. Why not let it go? If you’re in it for the kids, as they both say, let the show go. The reality show money may dry up, but isn’t that better than a family falling apart? And maybe the issues between Jon and Kate would have happened if a camera never entered their home. Who knows? But I hope Jon and Kate can find the courage to put away the issues of fame and focus on the health of their Christian family and their personal faith.






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Comments (21)
I've told my female friends over the past couple of years that this show would ruin their marriage/family, because I've grown to believe that fame corrupts. We see it in every celebrity and politician and reality show.
Also, we see Jesus running directly away from fame (heading to the dessert after being baptized, sneaking into a festival instead of traveling with and entourage). Maybe Christians ought to be people who are marked by avoiding fame and limelight.
Seems that our reputation may have a better standing in the world (bristol palin, miss california, jon & kate, ted haggard, etc.)
What else is there to say?
"Any hope I had about a Christian response to situation was killed with that single comment." Who are we to say that they aren't having a "Christian" response? That's between them and God. If one has been been cheated on, well, there's "Christian" justification for a divorce. We simply don't know what steps they're taking, what really happened, or how they've been trying to fix things.
Perhaps a more productive way to talk about this show is to offer practical advice to families going through similar things the Gosselins are rumored to--or appear to--be going through. Without laying judgment or presuming intimate knowledge, that could serve the purpose to help other people without tearing down a family that's already going through enough.
However, I do have something to say about Christians and divorce. My father is currently with his 3rd wife. He is a former pastor. My mom has been divorced three times. I have been married to my husband for nearly 7 years but we almost ended our marriage within the first year. It was only by God's grace/wrecking ball and our willingness to follow him no matter what that changed our course of action.
The article was hoping for a Christian response from Jon and Kate. However, I don't really think that the blame lies in the fame of their situation. It's lack of knowledge. The church does not teach how to have a good healthy "christian" marriage. They might talk a lot about it, but rarely do you get serious tools to work with on how to make your marriage better. In my opinion, we are just as "stupid" or lazy as the world is when it comes to keeping marriages healthy. The statistics are the same when it comes to christians and non-christians divorcing. I don't really think that you can blame fame here because there are millions of Christians that just don't know how to have a christian marriage. You won't get a healthy christian response because most christians don't even know what a good marriage even looks like.
On a good note, one of the best books I have ever read on marriage is Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. It is truly biblical knowlegde on how to take care of your spouse and follow Jesus.