Tipping as Witness

I recently encountered this blog post by a Christian psychologist Richard Beck.  He writes, provocatively, “The single most damaging phenomenon to the witness of Christianity in America today is the collective behavior of the Sunday morning lunch crowd. Never has a more well-dressed, entitled, dismissive, haughty or cheap collection of Christians been seen on the face of the earth.”  He admits that he exaggerates, but I agree with him that he has a point.

Though I’ve never been a restaurant server, I’ve seen this complaint before: the after-church crowd are rude, demanding and stingy.  Ever since I heard about this, I’ve become more conscious of the way I treat service workers. My sense of Sabbath makes me feel a little guilty about eating out on Sundays at all, but I’ll admit I do it anyway, sometimes in large groups. These large group, split the check situations are notorious for tipping problems, it’s complicated math, you think maybe somebody else will make up for you if you short the bill a little.

This brings me to this question: how would Jesus tip? My first thought is that Jesus might be the server, but of course service in the Bible was different from how it is today. We can think about some general principles Jesus exhibited though. Jesus thought it was important that people be treated kindly, he frequently treated outcasts with respect and kindness. If we follow this example, we should certainly be kind to service workers.  Jesus also cared about people getting enough: he made sure there was enough wine at a wedding, he miraculously fed thousands. I wish our restaurants paid their employees enough that they could survive on their wages alone, but they depend on tips, so we should be aware of that.

I think it’s best to think of our interactions with other people in two related ways. First, if this person knows I am a Christian, how is my behavior reflecting what that means to me? Second, I think it is our job in the world to show Christ’s love to others, and that love does not necessarily need to be linked to an explicit presentation of the gospel. This is more radical, but I was really persuaded by this perspective at a church I used to attend in Grand Rapids, where we took a few Sundays and participated in service projects. When people asked why we were doing it, we were supposed to say, “We are trying to pass on the love God has shown us” or something similar. The leadership of that church were convicted that God’s love for us ultimately comes in extravagant generosity, no strings attached.

When I think about this attitude, it makes it a lot easier for my natural tightwad to put an extra dollar in that jar or on that table. What better use for a few dollars than to repeat God’s generosity toward others?  Perhaps our best witness is when we are most aware of the gifts God has given us and sharing those with others. Maybe next, I can work on showing this same grace when I’m driving my car...

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Comments (26)

My grandparents are notorious for being cheap at a restaurant, but they are always sure to include a tract or Christian calendar with their $2. It frustrates me so much that I always slide an extra $5 or $10 under my plate before I leave. It's as though they remember the days when $2 was a legitimate amount to tip - but forget at tip-time that inflation over the last 40 years has eroded the value of the $2! Apart from tipping in a restaurant, my grandparents are the most generous people I know, which only compounds the issue!
Bethany, it's easy to look at a topic like this and simply brush it away as a petty issue - but I agree with you 100%. I don't know how often we've gone out after church with a medium to large group of friends (well we don't so much now, but we used to frequently) and once everyone was done nary a dime would be left on the table. Sadly, some of those friends are mutual friends. I'm not pointing fingers, and I can't speak for those in the group that may have paid with plastic, but I generally was observant of those who paid with cash. And I don't care to remember how often I felt obliged to leave more of a tip than my customary 15-18%.

That said, I am a proponent of quality service. If the service is substandard, my tip will reciprocate - but the service has to be VERY substandard for me to lower my tip. And I agree with you that those service projects changed my entire outlook on service. I wonder how many of our mutual friends feel the same? And I wonder if it has changed their outlook on how to leave a proper tip?
To you (general) it's a couple of extra dollars. To your server, who may wait on upwards of 30 tables on a busy Sunday, that's an extra $60 for bills. Because most people aren't working their booties off on a Sunday just for the fun of it. They are folks just trying to make a wage.

I have been a server in the past. I always tip 20% unless I'm just flat out ignored.
As someone who worked in the food service industry for 9 years before ministry, let me say quite authoritatively, DO NOT EVER leave a Gospel tract in lieu of a tip. You could not possibly find a more effective way to turn someone off to the message of the cross than by doing that. And if you're going to pray for/witness to/leave a tract for a server - TIP BIG!!! Intentionally verbally thank them for their hard work, even if things weren't up to your particular standards. They're on their feet all day long making far less than minimum wage.
Man I'd be fuming if I got a tract in lieu of a tip. Partly because I'm a christian already (and I don't find tracts particularly effective anyway), and also because if I were waiting tables I'd be worried about trying to make ends meet. I've only ever been involved in the Hospitality industry a handful of times (during university holiday a few years ago), and man I do not envy people who work there. People are very rude when they've had a few drinks.
AGREED...They are running on their feet. Half of us in America can't even walk around the block, let alone for 10 hours on concrete, tabulating what 30 different people need in constant flux. Most of the time if an order is messed up, the kitchen is responsible, yet the server loses the tip for it. People need to stop acting needy or pious when they go out to eat. We all have friends that are a little flighty, yet we still love them. Servers come in many varieties. I remember the sunday crowd putting myself through college. Christians should remember the food they are praying over is being sent to them by what is god's also.
This past June, the denomination in which I am a pastor, had our annual general assembly in Orlando. One evening, a group of us went to Outback for appetizers and beers. (We're presbyterian. It's okay.)

A couple interesting things happened. First, we talked with several of the servers about Christians and their tipping habits. We heard a lot of complaints about the Sunday crowd, like this post mentions. Since we were the only group in the restaurant, they wanted to talk with us.

Second, the bartender couldn't believe a bunch of pastors were sitting at his bar. We had to show ordination and business cards before he believed us. We were also able to engage him in some really good Gospel conversation.

Third, he made sure we knew that those tracts people leave behind get thrown in the trash.

We did leave a good tip.
One of the reasons servers depend on tips is that the minimum wage laws provide a lower base pay for them, on the ground that, after all, they are getting tips. A really Christian thing to do would be to demand that our legislators and congress reps remove this distinction. Then, tips really could be a little extra, for good service, rather than an essential part of their living. Of course, minimum wage isn't enough to live on either. It is my personal experience that a single person making twice the minimum wage can live comfortably and have something to contribute to others. I don't know how anyone with a family to support does that.
In Washington state, the minimum wage is $8.55 per hour. During a 40hr/wk, 52wk year, one earns $17,784 before taxes. The "poverty line" in King County (Seattle) is $22,000.

Two friends earning minimum wage living as roommates earn over $35,000/yr. Realistically, minimum wage serves its exact function in this situation. It allows one to live--as long as it is done within their means; I calculated the cost of living month-to-month on pure fixed costs, and figured an individual could live on $16,500 per year with no discretionary spending. (As a college student, these calculations are relevant to my decision to live at home or move into my own place.)
I can't quite tell if you're saying that minimum wage is enough. You have a higher minimum than most of the country. We don't all have room-mates sharing costs. I've been known to live on $7000 in a year, and even travel a little, but I'm in good health, and I have no children to support. In the job where I earned almost twice the minimum wage, I certainly had more than pure fixed costs, but, I don't know how some of my co-workers with 2-4 children managed it, and some of them were single parents. I live in a tiny studio that rents for $350 a month. Three bedrooms generally goes for three times that around here.
Great post Bethany. One of my favorite churches, a large charismatic congregation in northern California, has a pastor that regularly encourages people from the pulpit to over tip. He also encourages people to secretly pay for another diner’s bill. Consequently the people of that congregation take great delight in blessing restaurant staff. And more often than not, receiving a $20 bill (or larger) is often an answer to the server’s prayer. When that’s the case, no evangelistic tracts are needed, actions speak so much louder than words. Our pastor in Portland has also encouraged us to give to those begging on freeway exits and entrances. It has come to the point that individuals seeking a handout station themselves on the corners of avenues leading to church Sunday morning because they know Christians are generous. And again, no sermon or tract is needed. They get it. It doesn’t matter greatly what they do with the money, the larger point is that they know someone loves them.
Being a waitress for many years, (and a christian even longer), I use to hate working Sundays knowing we would get the church crowd in. They were rude, messy, demanding and their kids were out of control. And to top it off, they were the worst tippers of any group of people we had come in, and they caused us the most work.

As a Christian, it frustrated me the kind of example of GOD they were leaving on the other waitresses/waiters. Hypocritical actions and attitudes from them left a negative impression. I wish more people would address this problem. Thanks for the great article
When I was a server, I had to continually apologize to my fellow wait staff. They knew I was going to college to study ministry and would come to me with tons and tons of questions. Also, they'd show off the cheezy tract that someone left.

It actually became so much of a joke, that they would tear out pages and tape them inside of their notepads.
Wow, d'ya think this resonates a bit? I would agree that it's not the "single most damaging phenomenon" but that it's pretty clearly a problem, and a pretty universal one too. I waited tables (as the single breadwinner with two dependents while going to school fulltime) and Sundays were miserable. I'd have to work a double shift on Sundays—opening the restaurant at 11 AM and closing it at 1 AM—just to make up for the meager tips from serving Christians in the morning and early afternoon.

Years later, the president of a company I worked for would occasionally take me and a few other staff members out to eat. His point about tipping was to never let anyone walk away with the impression that Christians, of all people, are cheap. He's right: for us, who have been given EVERYTHING, to skimp on a couple of bucks is downright shameful. And that's not to mention how we TREAT servers in the first place...

For those two reasons, I also tip 20% to start and go up or down (but never below 15%) based on the quality of service.
COOK YOUR OWN FOOD. Its cheaper, healthier and you don't have to break your head on how much tip the server deserves.

Do you tip at KFC, Mcdonalds, Burger king?
Tip=gratuity (gratia, grace)

NEVER break your head on how much tip the server deserves. It's not about deserving; it's about grace. As Christians, we are called to be people of grace. We SHOULD tip, and generously.

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