I was listening in (yes, eavesdropping) on a conversation at a bookstore recently. While standing in the poetry section, I overheard two women discussing a series of Romance novels.

They didn't know each other, but were great fans of the author, and discussed in-depth several of the characters central to the ongoing storyline. After listening for a while, I concluded that tabloids, soap operas and romance novels are to women what pornography is to men….

It's with a broad sweeping stroke that I use to paint this picture--but consider this: according to research from Today's Christian Woman, one out of every six women struggles with an addiction to pornography. Add to that a survey by research organization Zogby International that claims these women truly believe they can find sexual fulfillment through that addiction.

Now why go there? The romance novels evidently fill a void in these women's lives--a void in relationship. They fantasize about the men, compare them to their significant others and draw out an unrealistic contrast.

A similar comparison can be drawn with men who are addicted to pornography. Men are visual creatures, and their hearts are drawn by the physical aspect of an unsatisfying relationship.

Both actions stimulate a relief of tension--an escape from reality. They also have a cycle that continues to build. And both fill a void, if only for a few moments.

So I guess if there is a void that needs filling, shouldn't it be filled with the things that point us to God rather than things that deepen the void and add guilt, shame and a desire to hold onto the issue?

Could I suggest the whole problem exacerbates what started it in the first place? The emptiness got bigger because the separation and isolation got bigger…and if it is true that a place without the hope of God is hell, that is what so many throw themselves into.