Discussing
More hot, steamy Christian sex

Steven Koster

Steven Koster
May 11, 2009

God invented sexuality as part of the way we're supposed to be. But does this vision include a website like ChristianNymphos.org?

Amy B
May 12, 2009

Am I the only one brave, or interested enough to comment?! ;)

Thanks for posting this! I too was a bit unsure at first, but honestly I think this is a great website for Christian women who could use a little help in the bedroom.

Rick
May 12, 2009

So I am a Christian single, divorced man that has no sex life. No hot, steamy Christian sex. Haven’t had for 9 years. Does it bother me? Big time. As I am sure it does many others. So when you talk about the joys of physical intimacy and spiritual intimacy, I kind of put my fingers in my ears and sing La, la, la, la. The Christian nymphomaniac site sounds...interesting...hm...Christian nymphomaniacs...oh, and thay have sexual positions and techniques! Maybe I won’t click on it. Currently I am practicing the technique of putting my fingers in my ears. So much of the church revolves around married couples, adult singles don’t exist. You would think that family life, marriage enrichment and child raising were the main topic of New Testament.

Chloe
May 12, 2009

Thank you Rick! I often times feel that some Pastors forget that not every member is married or a single under the age of 18 or became saved during childhood. And that being celibate isn't a walk in the park, especially if you weren't saved all of your adult life or previously married. I assume they don't want to offend us but some consideration of our plight would be greatly appreciated. *rant over*

With that being said I am sure this website is a ministry that people can benefit or in some cases think they are experts on...lol

alvin_tsf
May 12, 2009

rick,

though i am married and have a wonderful family life, i can somehow sympathize with you. and at the same time cannot imagine what you have to put up with all this sex talk. i will continue to pray for you for this...should i say obssession with "christian" sex...is clearly not edifying all of the body of Christ. pls do not take as having any condescension on my part but speaking as a sincere brother in the Lord. i hope that your walk with the Lord will be full of joy!

have a blessed day!

alvin

Arshield
May 12, 2009

I do understand Rick's comments. My church is about 50 percent unmarried (adults). And we are going through a four week series on how to stay in love (in marriage). But I will agree with the part that says that if we know about something going in, it can help. My pastor is spending a good bit of the time directly addressing singles (albeit with the assumption that most of them are going to get married).

I can't comment on the website without admitting that I visited and/or hoping that my wife might visit too.

Nbierma
May 13, 2009

Good points.

Also, I think this site risks playing into our culture's idea of talking about sex as a set of techniques, evaluating intimacy primarily/exclusively according to physical pleasure, and even enforcing the idea that the woman exists to please the man. And I'm not sure the word 'nympho' can be redeemed for Christian use.

But I do like the idea of challenging the idea that only males care about pleasure, that married sex is necessarily dull routine, and that talking about sex as Christians is taboo.

Cocoboy
May 13, 2009

speaking of redeeming the word nympho... type nympho or nymphos into google.. see how close the CN site is to the top. I've seen it as high as #1. If that's not redeeming the word, what is? I think those ladies are doing an incredible job, and I'm sure a lot of people wish their wives were "christian nymphos"

Rick
May 13, 2009

Here is the definition of nymphomaniac or nympho:
nymphomania - a disorder in woman characterized by an overactive libido, extreme or obsessive uncontrollable desire for sexual stimulation.

Coco says "I'm sure a lot of people wish their wives were christian nymphos". We are talking about men (not people) here fantasizing that their wives have obsessive, uncontrollable sexual cravings. Sounds like a Playboy fantasy to me. It reminds me of when I was in Junior High and someone told me about spanish fly (an illegal aphrodisiac) and it's magical powers. These are adolescent male fantasies at best and dehumanizing, de personalizing, destructive perceptions at worst.

I always feel a little creepy when some sexually fixated male minister waxes eloquent about "Maximum Sex" or "Hot Steamy Sex" or the "Sex 365 Days Of The Year Challenge" or whatever the latest hyperbolic Christian term is. And I think unbelievers feel weird about it too.

I agree with Nathan Bierma's points..


Cocoboy
May 14, 2009

if you read the site you'll see that they are only nymphos when compared to the popular idea of what Christian sexuality is. I do consider their husbands to be very lucky... Let's see... what would be better in marriage? A wife that thinks sex is dirty and sinful, or a wife that knows that sex is a gift from God, meatn to be enjoyed to it's fullest? I say if there were more wives out there like the CN spice girls, there would be a lot more happy marriages out there, and lot fewer divorces.

God Bless them, they read the bible, and enlighten the uninformed.

Steven Koster
May 14, 2009

As a male minister who talks about sex (fixated or not), I do prefer to teach along side my wife--we lecture as a couple. And we do so for the very reasons you suggest. Sometimes my voice is less effective than hers, and our voices together are clearest.

And I certainly don't mean to primarily lecture women how to be sexier. In my ministry men need the most re-orientation. And notably, the CN site is written by women for women. Men are welcome only as guests who behave themselves.

And since these women chose Nympho as a proud self-description, as a male I'd hesitate to lecture them on how to describe their sexuality, according to Webster or not.

Rick
May 14, 2009

You may be doing a great job, you probably are.

But why is it always male ministers urging women to have more sex? (Do you really think men need to be urged to have more sex?) Josh McDowell presents "Maximum Sex", Ed Young promotes 7 Days of Sex, Paul Wirth gets press promoting 30 Days of Sex, Joe Beam travels around promoting Hot Christian Love, Ian Kerner's book, "the Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man".. It's kind of comical. And it guarantees press. Oh well. I won't comment anymore on this. La la la la.

Arshield
May 14, 2009

Rick I don't think that is what is going on here. I think it is Christian women trying to talk to Christian women about how to have a healthy sex life. I have some issues with the 40 days of sex or whatever the things that churches have been doing but that isn't what they are doing. They aren't male, although they may be a little sexually fixated, it is clear from surveys of Christian women that there are some sexual issues that need to be worked out. About 30 percent of Christian women regularly look at porn, for instance. In national surveys about 35 percent of women are identified as having sexual disfuntion (pain during sex, inability to have or regularly have an organism, lack of desire for sex, etc.). Honest conversation about sex seems like a reasonable way to address some of these issues.

I certainly think it is a healthier way to address sexuality than the "Virgin Lips" movement that is being talked about on the Christianity Today Women's blog (where women pledge never to kiss anyone until their wedding day.

Richard
May 16, 2009

I was really fascinated by the many comments and sensed even a subtle tension and sarcasm from the singles. The apostle Paul was questioned about eating meat that was offered to idols, and the bottom line of that passage was about being considerate of others' feelings, viewpoints. Our freedom in CHRIST should not become a stumbling block to others because love fulfills the law. I don't think any of this is deliberate, but we can be blind to how our bretheren feel about things at times. Singles need to be encouraged equally as much as married people, but when you understand fully how GOD sees marriage, and once you finally experience it, you will see why so much attention is given to it. We all were once single, but not all once married. The BIBLE from Genesis to Revelation is in a nutshell one big courtship, marriage, and ceremony between GOD and man, so much that CHRIST likens us as his bride and HIMSELF the BRIDEGROOM so GOD is heavily interested in this union because it is an earthly expression of HIS whole redemption plan and expresses HIS relationship with us, HIS people. GOD lords over us faithfully without fail and with a tender love, not bossy or abusive which is how a husband should be and the church responds to that kind of love with willing submission living in harmony with their GOD. GOD is using marriage to show the permanancy of HIS relationship with us because HE never lets us go even when we let go, so the man carries the success and failure of the family on his shoulders and will stand in the Judgement for it. Satan is aggressively attacking marriages because he hates the gospel and will do anything to publicly shame the name of CHRIST and failed marriages is the perfect way to do it. We divorce because of pride, selfishness, and a lack of understanding of how GOD sees marriage and sex and money is usually the culprit. This is why marriage is given so much attention to because divorce does not show the faithfulness of GOD'S relationship to HIS people, so as CHRISTIANS we must rigorously fight for marriage because the gospel, which is the power of our salvation, is enshrouded in marriage. The apostle Paul said that to be single is in a way better because you are free to serve GOD in any way that GOD chooses with no inhibitions. Married people are more restricted because of family duties. We tend to think the grass is greener on the other side. Singles want to be with someone and couples want to be single again. Pastors, encourage couples to publicly and privately display the covenant of GOD with HIS people and encourage the singles to occupy until their mate arrives. Make them understand that if they really knew what marriage really entails they would probably run from it. The BIBLE explicitly warns against making an oath to GOD and breaking it. Marriage is no walk in the park either. More increasingly, couples fantasize about single life more than singles want to be married. When you seek HIM first and really set CHRIST as the object of your affection, all else will be in proper perspective. When you desire anything more than CHRIST, you are already headed in the wrong direction, even if you are desiring a good thing.

Peter
May 17, 2009

If you're thinking of sex all the time, chances are that you're not thinking about anything else, let alone God.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patient, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Which of these qualities of one who is born of Spirit and water, benefits from daily sexual pleasure?

Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Sex is definitely allowed and encouraged among married couples, but does it mean that you have to indulge in it?

What if it becomes an addiction? Didn't Christ come so that we can be free of such bondage? Then why are we tying ourselves back to the yoke of slavery?

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Narriag
May 18, 2009

I visited Christian Nymphos.org webpage. I don't understand how so many persons are wasting time in commenting the subject. If you put a non christian liberal adult to read the content and ask for his honest opinion, he will say what I saw: IT'S PURE, PLAIN PORNOGRAPHY trying to be disguised as christian site. I imagine the lot of hours of work of the publisher, many of them used visiting places to know more about sex toys in order to be fully updated to recommend them to other nymphos. BTW, the definition of nymphos shows clearly that the owners have a mental disorder. If you spend all day long building and filling up the page with such "advises" you should make an appointment with a christian psychiatrist. I'm serious, I'm a Medical Doctor. The whole matter is insane. I'm not again of sex at all, I have had a happy marriage for many years, including very good sex, but I consider myself an administrator of the time God gives me. How could a christian waste a considerable part of his time considering sex positions and the new sex toys in the market? Do they have time to read the Bible every day. Can they read in their devotions the advise of Paul in Phil 4:8 " Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."

I made what I didn't want....I'm wasting my time...A last thought. I wouldn't be surprised if in that website sex toys, explicit videos an other "blessings" are offered on net in a couple of years.

Carnell
June 11, 2009

I believe we are moving toward a keener understanding of what the Bible provides in the way of understanding our sexuality. After preaching to the deficit (fornication, adultery, homosexuality, pornography, etc.), we are now taking a look at sex as a gift.

Are we stumbling toward it awkwardly? Perhaps. But even a cursory review of scripture reveals that the Body of Christ has always begun important conversations with some contention and discord (bodily resurrection, the place of mosaic law, how to evangelize). However, God leads us to truth and balance in every generation.

We should take all of these attempts at Christian sex ethics as steps toward greater spiritual maturation within the body...and an exposition of our own biases.

Steven Koster
June 22, 2009

I would suggest that sexuality is part of how we were created as God's image bearers, so it's a mistake to oppose sexuality against the fruit of the Spirit, for example.

I think a more helpful question would be how does one manifest the fruit of the Spirit in one's sexuality? How does one demonstrate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control in everyday sexuality? Toward a co-worker, or a struggling or desperate friend, or a person of the opposite sex, or even in the marriage bed?

I think a whole book could be written just exploring those dimensions.

Hapi Masina
June 10, 2010

wow! praise the Lord brother.

Proverbs31
October 12, 2010

I am a happily married Christian woman who is willing to be used by God to advance His call for fabulous Christian married sex... I was inclined (after much prayer & consideration) to launch my own site: http://forums.ChristianWomenUn...

Many Christian women desire to ask personal questions of other ladies, but would never do so in person. Many Christian women suffer from complete lack of sexual desire and / or sexual satisfaction. That shouldn't be so! God gave us the gift of sex within marriage, to be enjoyed by BOTH partners.

It saddens me to think of all the married Christian women I personally know that do not have a thriving sex-life. My heart genuinely aches for them, as well as their suffering husbands...

I pray that more women reach out to their sisters in Christ for encouragement in their desire for genuine sexual satisfaction. I pray that more women come to truly understand that sex is meant to be pleasurable, remarkable even!

I thank God for His gift of sex, & hope that He will use me to reach & help other ladies discover this Biblical truth for themselves. Amen.

Rich
November 11, 2015

I'm sure that if God wanted us to have less or no sex he would have designed the body much the same way as a deer as example. The female species goes in to estrous once a year for the purpose of procreation. The male deer literally explode with desire and some actually lose more than thirty percent of their body weight.

However we are human and designed completely different. As humans we have placed a huge burden on sexual relations on married couples. We read the old testament and gather a lot of interpretations, some conflicting depending upon the source.

As a result there is guilt, questions about what sexual acts a married couple is permitted to perform and in some cases the burden becomes so great that its almost something many would rather avoid than get caught in the middle of the "heat of the moment" then wondering if what you are doing as a couple is a sin. I've seen questions about frequency etc. Who's right and who's wrong when we read these articles? I suggest prayer, common sense and goodness should be in control here not the "outside world."

I'm sure if God didn't want us to perform some acts he would not have given us the opportunity. We would be built and programmed mentally to avoid or possibly not even know about such things. I'm reminded of the movie "The Devil's Advocate" and Al Pachino ranking and raving about "look but don't touch, touch but don't taste, taste but don't swallow!" The whole idea can be very perplexing.

Aside from physical limitations, age, possible illnesses etc, its up to each couple to decide what is right for them. One cannot be persistent if a partner says "no!" The key is mutual benefit coupled with a huge amount of respect and communications between partners. When there is doubt, there is prayer. If you're not completely sure if something is acceptable, don't do it!



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