Discussing
Are women called to not 'let themselves go'?

With beauty, with health, with mind and heart, gifts and talents, for both genders:  do the best with what you've been given.

Men have an obligation as well to not let themselves go. Fried food, gluttony, excessive beer, sloth, inactivity, sweets all conspire to make middle aged men overweight walking time bombs, besides looking unattractive. Paul was concerned with his physical body, concerned with his health. He "kept his body under submission" and was scrupulous about his health, recommending to Timothy that he drink a little wine in moderation for digestion and general health. Paul did not even dress for himself, he became "all men to all people" to remain as outwardly appealing as he was inwardly so he might win others to Christ. He was winsome. Though Jesus was poor, soldiers fought over who should get those clothes. All things in moderation.

His 270 comments wasn't enough on his blog?  This is an issue that not many are going to get the other side.  I said enough on his blog already. I will keep my comments to myself over here.

Hi arshield, We here at TC thought this was an interesting faith/culture issue for those readers who hadn't seen Tim's earlier post. Glad you already weighed in there. We're interested to see what folks think here too.

I don't really agree.  Our American promotion of beauty is over the top.

Would the Bible prioritize appearance maintenance (hair cuts, colors, skin treatments, daily makeup) above basic charity?

Is Mother Teresa less inwardly beautiful for having only two worn saris and abundant, untreated wrinkles?

This opens the door to judge people's character by their appearances.  That is dangerous thinking that seems to pander more to our culture than our scripture.  Maybe the lady in the stained Mickey Mouse t-shirt is raising her grandkids on a pensioner's budget or maybe she was roofing at Habitat, cleaning her neighbor's house, or just can't keep up with that day's demands of editing her church newsletter while being the primary caregiver for preschoolers.

It's funny the author avoids the phrase "pride in self," but I think he's really hitting on issues of pride and narcissism.  Economics are entirely cast aside, but the Bible is a book of economic concerns.

Ironically, my fundamentalist progenitors would find a woman's focus on her physical appearance to be a sure sign of damnation.  Women were driven out of those folds over slacks, haircuts, and ear piercings.

One day I was sandbagging buildings in a nearby community whose river was coming over the banks.  The team of men I worked with were, like myself, exhausted, grimy, and sweaty.  They suggested we get something to eat at the nearest open restaurant- one with starched tablecloths and reviews in gourmet magazines- but also an establishment protected by our volunteer efforts.

"Like this?" I asked.

One gentleman, a local philanthropist in bib overalls, laughed and pulled a hundred dollar bill out of his wallet.  He shoved it in his bib pocket so it stuck out conspicuously.  "This is all they should see."

We had a wonderful meal and the service was as gracious as usual.  Though that was easily 20 years ago, that powerful message about the underlying power of content (in that case- of our wallets and our volunteer spirits) has stuck with me.

So what currency should the church see in its women and men?  I certainly hope it is more than their overalls.

I find it disappointing that this article appears at all.  It is primarily pointed towards women, and although there is a paragraph about what men should do, it's just that, an aside.

I had hoped that in the Christian we had moved away from thinking that women needed to be beautiful.

Maybe we need to think more about how _people_, male or female, need to be more like Jesus.

I'd say that if a husband and wife are submitting to the Lord and loving Him and each other according to what the Bible teaches.... well, this won't be a issue.

A husband who loves his wife like Christ loves the church will find her beautiful. A wife who submits to her husband in the Lord will find him beautiful.

The church doesn't have to "stay attractive" to Christ. But it does have to submit to Christ. Christ doesn't have to "stay attractive" to the Church, but He does love us unconditionally.

I don't think that 1 Corinthians 6:19 has anything at all to do with this. I think that Ephesians 5:22-33 is much more applicable.

Wow, this could create some dangerous misinterpretations.  As I read the Bible, dedicating ourselves to God, maintaining a godly spirit, and seeking and trusting the Lord seem to be our calling, for both men and women, at every age.

Ideas and even the language of "letting oneself go" are dangerously mired in our culture and media driven standards of beauty.  If any Christian thinks that their number one duty is to make sure they are still attractive to their mate at a certain age, they are in trouble.  The heart of our walk is much deeper.

Instead, we should be encouraging each other to grow closer to God, to follow Jesus more, and to increase our utter dependence on God.  As we seek His face and follow His word, the details of all aspects of our lives will work as they should.  There is nothing more beautiful than a person full of the Holy Spirit.

Not "letting one's self go" is important to women. Not "letting one's self go" is important to men. To say that all that is important is the inner man is gnostic. We are stewards of these temples.

This is all nonsense. Requiring someone to 'stay attractive for' someone else is not the same thing as keeping yourself healthy and whole. Letting yourself go isn't a matter of becoming unattractive, it's a matter of depression and self-respect, economics and relationship communication. It's is NOT in any way reflected in trying to be conventionally beautiful for a partner or community.

So, no. Thou shalt not bother with the concept of letting yourself go. Your body is a temple, yes, but that means that you need to treat yourself gently, consciously, and graciously. Not that you should primp, preen and put on prideful airs to /prove/ to everyone else that you're totally beautiful on the inside, really. They'll know. And if they put that much stock in outward appearances, then why are you paying attention to what they think anyways?

Just what do you mean by, "Beauty, availability, and respect?" Who is this person - this woman - beautiful according to? Who is she available to? Who is she respecting? Even the answer of God doesn't have anything to do with outer appearance. She could be wearing a potatosack with a birdsnest in her hair and could be the most beautiful person in the eyes of God.

Good Evening All)))))))).... I would like to  say this i think that a women should keep her self up as humanly as possible we do not have to go over board with it as we serve a god that say come as you are so should we decide to put on make up before we come to him or take a bath before we confess our sins one to another or confess our sin to him (((((((((know))))))))))) I thank god for his grace and mercy towards us he excepts us the way we are and when we say i do of course we always wonder if our spouse think's that we are still appealing to them or sexy i would say that is in a womens nature... I'm sure that men think the same way wondering if they are still charming to us... What i think is more importantly then being beutiful is your personalitiy and your faithfulness toward god and each other.. That's what i believe that keeps us looking beautiful in and out...In Jesus Name Amen.

I completely agree. Drawing this argument to its logical conclusion would give us, as Christians, leave to start judging the spiritual condition of others based on their hygiene! How ridiculous would that be?

I wonder how much time Jesus spent on his appearance?

I'm really not trying to deride and I certainly see the value in what you're saying. I'm personally a bit of a fashion fiend.

But that doesn't mean we should impose our own physical priorities on someone who doesn't share them. They're not good indicators of the heart's condition, as Scripture so clearly warns us. If my shirt is faded, so what? Does that prevent me from being a light to the world?

Is a mother with untidy hair someone who just doesn't care about her husband or herself? Or has she been more concerned with seeing to the pragmatic needs of her husband than with her own well-being? How can one distinguish? Is it disrespectful of her husband if she spent more time prepping his food than her hair?

We Christians have lost our focus and have started to mistake the world's priorities for our own. There's a reason that Paul in his discussions of marriage doesn't mention issues of physical attractiveness, only of maintaining intimacy. As long as a couple is satisfied, why impose expectations on them? And why should they, looking around at other couples, adopt those expectations themselves and create discontent and covetousness?

The bottom line is that the inner doesn't and can't always reflect the outer, and vice versa. I can't even begin to go into the self-esteem implications for sick and injured spouses.