Discussing
The Price of Adoption

Interesting post - indeed, God adopted us!

However, it is worth pointing out that there are thousands of children in the US awaiting adoption, many of whom have had just as horrific of experiences as those abroad, who will cost essentially nothing in legal fees or flights to adopt; these are children in the foster care and social service system.

They are often not infants or toddlers, and sometimes people are hesitant of adopting children who may have been abused or have developmental delays (though in fact many of them have been in neither situation). But in truth, they need a caring home just as much as any other child, and I hope that those who are spurred on to consider adoption by this excellent post will also consider domestic adoption as a possibility. (Yes, the tax credits still apply if you spend money to accomplish this, and - sadly, I think - they are offered to you even without incurring expenses if the child is deemed "special needs" - perhaps with the implication that no one would take him/her without a tax break, which is heart-breaking.)

I am a woman who would love to adopt a child, but the costs are prohibitive - and not just because they are steep. For example, I read an article recently about mothers in Haiti who are so poor that they have to choose which child will die because they can only feed so many. It can cost over $30,000 to adopt from Haiti - the poorest nation in the western hemisphere. After this transfer of funds, various entities will have become richer - but not the birth mom, because that would be buying a child. So, the only woman who is actually giving something up is the one person who can't benefit from it. Lawyers, translators, and facilitators can. Meanwhile, this same woman will have reliquished a child, but won't have money to go get her other kids out of slavery or prostitution and care for them. This is NOT justice. The questions people asked you were crass, but legitimate.

So, while Christians aren't supposed to sit idly by, I have to ask, if it costs that much to transfer a starving child into arms that would love her and feed her, is that justice? Should we participate in that?

I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm wrestling with this question for my own life as well.

Katryna,

I think what you are wrestling with are legitimate issues that I myself (along with my wife) wrestled with before deciding to adopt from Russia. I have my own opinions about whether or not it is "justified" for so many people to make money through the adoption journey. However, leaving that issue alone, I think the alternative is to leave a child without a forever family on "principal"...for a measly $30,000 (yes measly...a lot of people won't hesitate to spend that on a car). How is it "just" to leave a child without a family and drive a new car? As a side note, you may not drive a new car but millions of Christians do (on credit I might add). I hope I don't come across as harsh, but I am very passionate about the subject.

We have two children by birth and one by adoption. When people ask how much my daughter cost, I just smile and say “she’s priceless”.

But the truth about the actual costs are:

-Tax credits covered the majority of our expenses

-Many couples we met were infertile and had spent equally large amounts of money on doctors, in vitro fertilization, etc.

-Use of a reputable adoption agency kept the price down – no bribes or outlandish fees.

-I have spent many times the cost of the adoption on my daughter in the past 12 years (she’s not even to High School yet…)

-We have a moderate middle class income – we don’t pinch pennies, but we also don’t drive new cars or carry debt. We could afford adoption. College – we’re hoping for scholarships…!

We are not big crusaders for adoption, but to us it just makes sense. There a children without families, and we were a family that wanted another child. And God in His grace has blessed us tremendously with and through our daughter.

Plus, deciding between adoption and assisted reproduction is often an issue: http://wondercafe.ca/discussio...