Discussing
What Christians can respect about SlutWalks

Caryn Rivadeneira

Bereal
June 24, 2011

I couldn't disagree with you more and you condoning women dressing scantly, regardless of what the reason is, is not at all glorifying the Lord.  Regardless of whether or not you like the Lord's teaching on modesty (I agree that dressing in a way that intentionally titillates, tempts or scandalizes probably doesn’t honor our Heavenly Father. And I don’t believe women should dress in a way that turns our “Temples of God” into objects of lust. But – honestly – I don’t know how that can happen.) doesn't make it any less his Word and intended for us to follow.  You can not pick and choose what you choose to believe in the bible and urging others to disobey the Word will cause you great judgement.

Diann
June 24, 2011

Thank you for this post, Caryn.

Dean Roberts
June 24, 2011

Great blog! It's very important that Christians seek to protest with others when ill used words are used against people.. Though, I do find myself promoting modesty when it comes to clothing...

http://deanroberts.net

Bethanykj
June 24, 2011

Caryn, I appreciate your thoughtfulness about this movement. I agree with your position.

I want to clarify one point about this movement, which I have found interesting. Not all the protesters dress "scantily." As you can see in the picture above some of the protestors are wearing typical day clothes, certainly something that would be ok at a casual church social. The point they are making is that no matter what a woman does, she can't prevent someone from believing she is "slutty" and that is no excuse for violence. This is an idea you get at in the article (one some commentators on this phenomenon seem to have missed) and I wanted to note that it's not lost on the organizers.

Sarah Sumpolec
June 24, 2011

Wow - lots to ponder here. One thing that popped in my head is that sexual crimes against women have long been understood to be about power and control - NOT about sex. So therefore, the kind of thinking that continues to blame women is all the more ludicrous.

Bosco
June 24, 2011

Read a great reply on another site:

"If I go to the Bronx dressed as a member of the KKK, and some black people beat the crap out of me, who is to blame? Well, technically they are, but I'm also an idiot.
If you go out to venues where people are trolling for sex, and you dress like you're looking for sex, and some person with with no self-control rapes you, he is to blame. But you're also an idiot.We can assign blame where it belongs while still telling people to not act like idiots and take proper precautions in sketchy situations."------------------------------While I agree slutty clothes don't CAUSE rape (rapists cause rape), temptation is a very very powerful thing.  Poor police office who just tried to say 'be careful girls'.

Paulvanderklay
June 24, 2011

Couldn't participating in something labeled a "slutwalk" regardless of dress be interpreted as making some kind of a statement that might attract unwelcome attention, behavior, thoughts? We live in a deep and complex context of near continual interaction at levels we seldom comprehend. Thanks for your post.

Susan Ballou
June 24, 2011

I'd disagree with you, as some of the other posters have... what you wear does say something about the person... otherwise "fashion" would not be so popular.

Men are visual and if you are "saying" I'm easy, then it is all too easy for a man to expect something. As for violence, as one post put it... its about control/anger not sex.

I'm the femi-nazis are foaming at the mouth over this.

Maureen
June 24, 2011

If you're a cash only kind of person does that make it okay to blame victims of credit card fraud for having a card? Should owners of 1995 Honda Civics be blamed when their cars are stolen since they own the most stolen car? Victims of crime they are not responsible for the crime. Sex crimes are no different. End of story. 

Caryn R
June 24, 2011

I agree rape is not about sex (though the "dressing like a slut" implies that it is). But I also believe self-control applies to our anger and control issues.

Sistersharonblcl
June 24, 2011

I believe that a women should dress like a lady and accordingly to her body structure.. meaning some of us all small some of us are medium and some of us are large... so with that said even if we dress a certain way of course it will attract attention to a man.. I know in most cases that even when we dress the right way some men are sick individual and they will rape you even if you are dress properly. I would not say if you act or dress like a slut that you want to fall victim to a rapist no..  But we all must remember that some of the slut dressing is not appropriate for out doors as women we no right from wrong and it is a time and place for everything...I would say this just because a women dress like a slut it does not give a man the right to force his self upon her... But at the same time i believe that women dress like that for some attention and more then likely she will get it but the wrong kind of attention... I would say that you will be better off dressing decent with dignity and nine times out of ten a man will respect you more..However i also believe that a womens body is the temple of god and if she dress like a slut so that the whole world can see then what does she have for her husband behind close doors...Hummmmmmmmm)))))))) in Jesus Name Amen

Bethanykj
June 24, 2011

the problem with this logic is that most evidence suggests there is no relationship between how a woman dresses and whether or not she is sexually assaulted.

Also, I am troubled by an analogy relating a woman dressed "sexy" or whatever, to a person dressed in a racially threatening manner. A person might be looking for sex, that doesn't mean she's looking to be raped. Sex and rape are not the same thing.

We can promote modesty as a virtue, but slutwalk is battling two related misconceptions: 1) a person can prevent rape by how she dresses 2) if a woman is marked as "slutty" because of her clothing or dating habits, then it's ok for her to be harassed or assaulted. As Caryn pointed out in her post, what counts as "slutty" is contextual and sometimes unpredictable, and it never excuses a rapist.

Wowshiny
June 24, 2011

Thank you for this post. It's an awful fact that any woman or girl can become a victim of sexual violence. Some are Christians trying to live a pure, modest lifestyle. Some are not. Either way, who are we to judge the victims of such a horrifying crime? It's not about "condoning women dressing scantly" as bereal put it. It's about having compassion for and defending these victims, whatever their lifestyle or clothing choices.
(And a PSA to parents, teachers, and mentors: Please teach your sons to respect women, even the "slutty" ones. Tell them to speak up when they hear threatening/sexist language, and especially if they see a girl who might be in trouble (being coerced to leave with someone, especially if intoxicated). And yes, do teach your daughters to have self-respect and modesty, but don't tell them it's their one defense against assault. I hope this doesn't sound too preachy, but every little bit helps!)

Wowshiny
June 24, 2011

Some women do live an ungodly lifestyle. As you put it, their clothing says "I'm easy," and maybe they are out looking for sex. But as you seem to understand, rape isn't sex. It's a violent sexual crime. Obviously, they aren't advertising for that. And to say that a woman would deserve rape or assault for a sinful lifestyle/appearance is too cold and judgmental to have been what you really meant. So that leaves me confused about your rather contradictory comment. Why are some victims seen as worthy of defense while others are not, even by Christians? Jesus stood between the woman caught in adultery and the angry crowd. I kind of feel like I'm doing that when I have to defend women who appear sexually immoral from fellow Christians. It isn't right that I have to.

Destiny Herndon-DeLaRosa
June 24, 2011

I don't know why this article made me so mad but it really did. While I agree with her ultimate point I don't think the ends justify the means. Her compromising her beliefs and encouraging others to do so by participating in such a thing just isn't acceptable. Sin is sin. We can protest it without having to join in.

Jay
June 25, 2011

"My body is not public." A strange sign to carry in a protest rally.Do you think that men could get away with this? NOT. Men who are abused mentally and physically suffer in silence. Do not kid yourselves. The problem is real.
There is finally an awakening to the reality of female abuse towards husbands/boyfriends. These marches seem to be aimed at bashing men.
Not really part of Gods plan.
A true Christian would not attack the police officer. How many ministers have taken the Bible,taken part of a verse using it out of context. I don`t believe for a minute that this is all the officer said. Let us hear the entire
conversation/chapter,before keeping on with this stereotypical way of thinking.

Xioc1138
June 25, 2011

"And I’m glad it did. Frankly, I’m shocked that anyone would still think – or suggest – that what a woman wears somehow makes her responsible for violent crimes committed against her. I thought there were laws against this sort of thing. I thought we worked through all this “she asked for it” nonsense back in the 1980s."

That statement alone disqualifies you from being able to offer a quality opinion on this subject.  I hope you're making a joke.

If I tried to board an airplane with a hunting knife strapped to my side and got roughed up by the TSA, would the popular commentary not say "he shouldn't have been wearing that knife in the first place."  

Or maybe I'm driving down the street on my hog wearing shorts and nothing else when some distracted driver, distracted by my awesome abs, veers into me, causing serious injury to my abs.  Would it not be fair to say that my dress contributed to the accident at hand?

I think the most correct assessment here is that women don't always bear the blame for crimes committed against them.  But let's also be honest, if you dress like a slut and hanging out with your slutty dressing friends, you're not exactly going to attract the attention of men or women with integrity.

Working with some of the youth I know, I can tell you that some do wear slutty clothes so that they can have sex with whatever boy comes their way.  It doesn't always work out for them the way they hope or dream as they allow themselves to get into sometimes very dangerous situations. 

Part of the culprit in these situations?  People who tell them that their wardrobe choices aren't to blame.

Bereal
June 25, 2011

I am all for defending women from being victims of sexual violence and having compassion.  I just believe it can be done modestly and with dignity.  Your not teaching your daughters modesty if you're dressing immodestly even to go out and protest.

Bereal
June 25, 2011

I guess it all boils down to if you think like Christ regarding this situation or carnally.  Would Jesus have taken part of "Slutfest" or whatever vile name it's called?  We are to look to Christ as our example and if the answer to that question is no, than neither should his followers.  We are to follow the rules and ethics of God's Word, not the twisted morality of the world.

Jason Summers
June 25, 2011

X-

Your example of the hunting knife is different in kind.  The reason being that for knives of certain length when one is boarding a plane, one is violating a law and the law in question is well known and publicly posted.  However, I have not ever encountered any notices to the effect "If you wear revealing clothes, we can't guarantee your safety."  Rather, the law in that case is directed the other way.

js

Niki Cox
June 26, 2011

Considering that He ate with and befriended prostitutes and tax collectors, and He chided the Pharisees for being more concerned about holy, pure living than with people and their hurts and needs, yeah, I'm fairly confident He would be there. I think you and I have very different understandings about Christ.

HopefulLeigh
June 26, 2011

I hadn't heard about this before.  It is shocking that a police officer would say something to that effect and frustrating that women continue to be blamed for horrific sexual crimes against them.  Thank you for writing so well about this issue!

Bereal
June 26, 2011

He ate with tax collectors he didn't collect taxes with them.  He befriended prostitutes but didn't prostitute with them.  Big difference.  He encouraged the prostitute to change her ways not encourage her behavior and give her an "atta girl".  I have no problem being friends or eating with someone dressed indecent I just won't take part myself and neither would Christ.  If you think he would then we certainly have different understandings of the Lord.

Bethanykj
June 27, 2011

I don't think you understand this event or Caryn's post at all. She has not claimed that she will dress provocatively, and neither do you have to to attend this event. You certainly don't have to have a promiscuous lifestyle. I think cheering them on as they protest rape is a lot like Jesus talking to the Samaritan Woman at the well. It's not saying we promote promiscuity, it's saying promiscuity does not make a person not a person. In my reading, Jesus agreed with that message.

Kris
June 27, 2011

Agreed in full. Christians should be leading the march against all violence on women and humanity. Silence breeds acceptance. Thank you for this post, Caryn.

Jay
June 27, 2011

Seeing Jesus in a march to stop a war,end poverty or cut education costs would be more realistic.What real good is a "slut-march" going to do? So far it has caused many rifts here in the Christian community.
Who is winning now. Satan,is the one.Remember "divide and conquer."
Empowerd women use their brains and don`t need to be the centre of attention

Bereal
June 27, 2011

Sure I do.  The author states that she is "a fan of what these women are doing".  I'm not.  I don't see taking to the streets and (many women) dressing like "sluts" and saying it's ok to dress like one. 
1 Thessalonians 4:4-7 says, " that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one would wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.  The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.  For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life".  One can choose to obey the Word of God or not.  I tried posting this verse yesterday but it's not here.

Jamesggilmore
June 27, 2011

What real good is a "slut-march" going to do?

Well, one hopes that it will let law enforcement and the general public know that rape is always wrong and always 100% the rapist's fault, no matter how the woman is dressed. Whatever "rifts" in the Christian community we see here, we see because there are some who insist on engaging in apologia for rape or on suggesting that a woman is at fault when a rapist rapes her if she's dressed "wrong," rather than acknowledging the basic fact that rapists are always 100% at fault for rape and standing with the SlutWalkers to fight rape by making it clear that it is always a crime.

Not to mention that in the other examples you mention—stopping war, ending poverty, and fighting education cuts [which I'm assuming is what you meant there]—there would also be "rifts" in the Christian community, because there are some Christians who favor America's wars of choice, support band-aids rather than systemic change for poverty, and are all too eager to cut or privatize public education. Jesus never seemed all that concerned about "causing rifts."

Jamesggilmore
June 27, 2011

First, "femi-nazis"? Really? Offensive phrases coined by the racist, sexist blowhard Rush Limbaugh are now considered acceptable discourse for Christians discussing issues with one another? Please keep the discussion civil—which pretty much requires keeping anything from Limbaugh out of it.

Second, it doesn't matter if the man expects something. It doesn't matter if men are "visual." It doesn't matter what what the clothing a woman wears "says" about her. None of those things in any way invalidate a woman's inalienable right not to have a rapist rape her. 

A woman dressed provocatively has just as much right not to be raped as a woman in a Victorian-era dress, and if she is raped it is just as much 100% the rapist's fault as it would be if she were wearing a baggy sweatsuit.

Rebekah Lubeck
June 27, 2011

Thank you for your post. I hope more people will realize that direspecting women because they are 'immodest', in attitude or action, is unacceptable--especially for Christians who claim that all people are made in the image of God, clothed or not.

Jay
June 28, 2011

If you say all rapists are 100 percent wrong and at fault,then that must include women who trick men into becoming pregnant,so they can trap him into an abusive marriage or sue for child support.Or do you just engage in "apoloigia" in this case.
And by the way,Jesus was very concerned about "causing rifts." He worked at causing a big rift to the Pharisees way of thinking.

Jamesggilmore
June 28, 2011

What do hypothetical women "tricking men into becoming pregnant" (and I'm going to have to assume you meant "tricking men into getting the women pregnant") have to do with rape? Seriously, what are you trying to prove there?

It's really problematic to imply that a comparatively few hypothetical cases of wrongdoing (and yes, if they happen, I'll agree they are wrongdoing, though not at all on the level of sexual assault) supposedly perpetrated by women against men are somehow equivalent in scope to—or, even worse, that they justify—the astronomically larger and quantitatively verifiable number of rapes perpetrated by male rapists against women, or equivalent in scope to the oppressiveness of rape culture that hurts even those women who aren't directly the victims of rapists by telling them that "if you dress slutty you're asking to be raped" or giving them reason to be on their guard during even the most innocuous encounters with men. 
That's a false equivalency, and it's generally one promulgated by so-called "Men's Rights Activists" whose rather un-Christian opinions of women I'm going to assume you don't share because I want to think more of you than that. I'd strongly suggest that you take the time to look at some feminist blogs and websites, and educate yourself about this country's pandemic of sexual assault by men against women, and the extent to which our culture ignores or, worse, subtly encourages it; please read the stories of women who were victims/survivors of sexual assault, and particularly the parts where they were blamed or victimized again by the very authorities who were supposed to be protecting them, and allow that to motivate you to stand with these women and fight against rapists and those who would engage in apologia for rapists' actions.And the fact that Jesus "caused rifts" was precisely my point: He stood up for what was right against what was wrong, regardless of the opinions of those who held hegemonic power. To suggest that Jesus wouldn't have stood up for the right of women not to be raped because it might "cause rifts" among Christians is to ignore what we know of Jesus's life and ministry.

Xioc1138
June 28, 2011

You're splitting hairs here, but I can ride with that.  While one is a matter of law and another is a matter of personal preference with no real legal bearing, the idea remains solid: dress a certain way and you can expect a certain reaction.

People who wish not be hunted by sexual predators ought not dress in such a way that attracts sexual predators.  Yes, I'll concede that there is little research that shows a correlation between wardrobe and being a victim of sexual crime, I'd suggest simply watching what happens around you.  

It just so happens that there is a major construction project on a popular running route for college girls in our city.  I'm on this road many times daily.  Guess who gets the most harassment from construction workers?  Hint: it isn't the T-Shirt long short wearing girl.  More skin nets more trouble.

RamblinnMann
June 29, 2011

Truly pathetic reasoning. No love. No grace. No mercy. Just a mean spirited, in your face attitude. Christ is not glorified here. Move on...

Love_the_mask
June 29, 2011

Bethany,  I am pushing back that it is a misconception that "a person can prevent rape by how she dresses".  Although a person can't totally prevent a rape from happening, can a person decrease their chances of rape by dressing more modestly?

I remember reading in a bicycling magazine that women who are going on a long bike ride, say 50-60 miles should carry with them something to put over their very tight biking "uniform". Of course for cyclist, they wear these tight shorts and shorts to cut down the resistance from air friction.  The writer suggested that if you have a bike malfunction that you never know where you might be or have to walk to get help so have something to put over you so that you don't "get yourself into trouble". When I read that I didn't think anything about it and now I think this police officer is saying the same thing. 

So my question to you is, can a person decrease their chances of rape by dressing more modestly?

There are crazy people in this world and I for one don't want to be the victim of their chemical imbalances.

Jastay3
June 29, 2011

I would think of giving approval to immodesty. All the same my first instinct was to cheer. And not because they are women but because they are citizens. While unavoidable, it is shameful that there should be parts of the city that law-abiding people can't go. Men may not as often face the threat of rape but they certainly face the threat of theft and physical brutalization. So though I did not approve of the method, my first impulse is to cheer at people thumbing their nose at thuggery.

Bethanykj
June 29, 2011

I don't know that one can provide definitive data on this question. You can't really do a controlled experiment. What I do know is that women get raped wearing all manner of things, in all kinds of places.

I don't think it's preposterous to protest in favor of a world where a woman can take a bike trip in an outfit appropriate to biking without fearing "trouble" of that kind, or walk home from a night out on the town. In countries where women are not allowed to show any skin or leave the house without a male relative, that is "for their safety" also.

Love_the_mask
June 29, 2011

I think the evidence is clear that when rapist and deranged men have been interviewed while serving time, some have said "They deserved it because of the way that they were dressed."  

Many fringe Muslim groups believe this. Just google "muslim rape victim punished" and see story after story of the victims being blamed.

Have there been studies to prove that a woman can lessen their chances of being raped by dressing a certain way? No.  But plenty of crazy people over and over are demonstrating this is true. 

I completely agree that "it is not preposterous to protest in favor of a world where a woman can take a bike trip in an outfit appropriate to biking without fearing "trouble" of that kind, or walk home from a night out on the town".
I'm in favor of these people protesting.  

There is nothing that I hate more than the oppression of women since the world began and how women are treated by men now in the US and worldwide. It's sickening. Sometimes I wonder how God can let this type of treatment go on and even advocated it for so many years.  

However, me pushing back on your statements was because I am concerned for my daughter's and sister's safety.  I want them to stay on lit streets while walking, stay alert, carry mace, lock their windows and doors at night, etc.    I wish we lived in a world were my wife and daughter didn't have to do these things but they do.  

So what I push back on in regards to your statement is that because I've heard some crazy people tell other people that they raped because of the way that the woman was dressed and when my daughter goes out I think about this and believe that women need to have wisdom. 

I don't want my sisters to get hurt in the process of exercising their rights to be able to dress any way they want. They do have that right and should be able to dress how they want but since there are so many crazy people out there are freedoms are being restricted. 

Bethanykj
June 29, 2011

I understand wanting to do what you can to ensure safety, but I don't think people should be restricted by a crazy person's idea of what is acceptable clothing for women, nor do I think sane people should repeat the reasoning of crazies. That makes it seem saner, and I think that's dangerous.

For instance, the young man who targeted congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and killed many others earlier this year thought she should be victimized because women shouldn't hold positions of authority. Should the congresswoman have resigned to avoid being a victim of his chemical imbalance?

I think we basically agree, since I wholeheartedly endorse the statement "I don't want my sisters to get hurt in the process of exercising their
rights to be able to dress any way they want. They do have that right
and should be able to dress how they want but since there are so many
crazy people out there are freedoms are being restricted."

I think protests like Slutwalks are an attempt to change our culture so those crazy people are not encouraged or affirmed by cultural discourse of victim blaming. Focusing on what women should do to avoid rape tacitly suggests the crazies are right and they deserve what they get if they don't follow increasingly restrictive suggestions, and I think that's dangerous, and it sounds like you agree, we're just approaching from different levels.

Jamesggilmore
June 29, 2011

I think the evidence is clear that when rapist and deranged men have been interviewed while serving time, some have said "They deserved it because of the way that they were dressed."  

And that isn't the problem, that we've apparently got a society where rapists think "they deserved it because of the way they were dressed"? They had to get that message from somewhere; it's not like they made it up whole-cloth. We need to work toward a society where we see justifying rape by the way a woman is dressed is seen as just as loathsome as we'd see someone justifying murder by the way the victim is dressed. "He was wearing a business suit, so he deserved to be shot."

Many fringe Muslim groups believe this. Just google "muslim rape victim punished" and see story after story of the victims being blamed.

Such thinking leads to adopting said groups' viewpoint, and suggesting that the only way a woman might be blameless when a rapist rapes her is if she's wearing a burqa.

Have there been studies to prove that a woman can lessen their chances of being raped by dressing a certain way? No.  But plenty of crazy people over and over are demonstrating this is true.

Except that there are also plenty of rapists (and let's not get them off the hook by calling them "crazy people," as if they're controlled by a pathology and don't have a choice) who rape women who aren't dressed in anything revealing, and plenty of other people who encounter women dressed in revealing clothing and don't see that as an invitation to rape them. So obviously there's something else at work here.

As for the rest of your post, I really do understand it. It's clear that you hate our culture's pandemic of sexual violence against women, and that you really don't intend to blame the victims of the crime.

But as I state in brief above, I think you do the discussion a disservice by calling rapists "crazy people." In part, I think that's a reflection of a heart that's in the right place, and that's an impulse I agree with—the idea of raping someone, of having sex with them when they don't or can't consent, seems crazy to you, like something you can't imagine a person in their right mind doing. I share that impulse. That, I think, is a very good impulse and comes from a good place.

But I think that in doing so, you also make rapists into a sort of "force of nature," people who have no control over their actions and no choice in the matter. That, I think, is a false portrayal. 

I don't disagree that there certainly are pathological rapists out there who are under the control of psychological sicknesses they can't control—and for them, I'd suggest, institutionalization is probably the best option if they really can't control that urge.

But I'd suggest that the vast majority of rapists aren't crazy—that they're people who have a choice, who choose to act in a selfish, controlling, dehumanizing, violating way, who choose to see the woman they rape not as a human being but as an object, who choose to ignore the shouting of their consciences. And I'd suggest furthermore that such people are encouraged by our culture to rape, encouraged by our culture to see women as objects, encouraged by our social expectations of masculinity to think that "you're not a man if she won't sleep with you" or "her no really means she wants it and can't admit it" or "if she's drunk/asleep/'dressed like a slut' she really wants it."

And we need to figure out, as a society, if these things are acceptable to us, if it's acceptable that our sisters, wives, mothers, and female friends are afraid every time they walk home from the bus stop at night, or afraid to wear something that shows some skin because they'll get catcalls.

Because if they aren't acceptable to us, we've got work to do. We've got to put better law enforcement protocols in place that take rape survivors' story seriously, that don't diminish or belittle or victim-blame them, so that more will come forward and press charges and more rapists will be punished. We've got to put better educational programs in place that tell guys in high school and college that "yes means yes," that anything but enthusiastic consent is a "stop" sign, that going forward when she doesn't consent is rape, plain and simple. We've got to start getting men involved in putting social pressure on one another to stop rape-culture thinking in its tracks, to tell their fraternity brother "no" when he's about to take an incoherently-drunk girl upstairs to his room, to not patronize movies or TV shows or websites that objectify women and lead to rape.

But the first step, I think, is taking rape seriously as a choice that rapists make—not seeing rapists as a force of nature that needs to be prepared for, like carrying an umbrella on a rainy day, but rather as people who make evil choices because they either don't know or don't care about making good choices. Rape exists because rapists rape; thus, we need to reduce the number of rapists, not accept a society in which the ever-present danger of rape is a fact of life for half of the human race.

Sarah
June 29, 2011

Thank you thank you thank you for writing this! Nothing a woman (or anyone else, for that matter) does will ever justify violence against her.

Gramina
June 29, 2011

On the matter of some people committing rape "because of the way the [victim] was dressed" -- I read an article many years ago in which the majority of people imprisoned for sexual assault had said that they "knew" she was "asking for it" -- *because she met their eyes.*
 
For months after I read that article I avoided meeting the eyes of anyone on the street -- because you never know who's a threat.
 
Eventually I realized that while meeting someone's eyes might increase my risk of being assaulted, *not* meeting people's eyes was harming me and them both *right now, and for sure.*  I was treating everyone as though they might be evil; and that's not good for me, or for the world around me.
 
So the argument that someone having said that they committed a sexual assault "because of" anything in particular means one should in wisdom avoid doing that thing is, I think, profoundly wrong.
 
I dress in ways that are comfortable for me in a given physical, social, and cultural environment; if someone around me judges me for that, that's unfortunate.  If someone feels that that justifies sexual assault, they're wrong.  I will always do the best I can reasonably do to ensure my safety, but this argument ends with me locking myself in an apartment by myself and never interacting with anyone at all.
 
(After all, the vast majority of rapes are committed by people the victim had thought of as friends or family.)

Gomushingirl
June 29, 2011

Really?  That's funny ~ I've been harrassed plenty wearing broom skirts and baggy sweaters.  Harrassment isn't about what you're wearing, just like rape isn't - it's about controlling people.  It's about making women aware that they're not welcome and showing them who is really in charge.  It is a form of violence, and has absolutely nothing to do with what kind of body you have or how you dress it.

Keith
June 29, 2011

Wow, what a storm this article raised! I agree that violence against women is not hard wired to what they wear and is never justifiable. But, your wording seems to indicate that your Christian liberty gives you a right to dress in any manner. I think that is not necessarily the case. Modesty is an explicitly commanded Biblical principle. I think maybe you've thrown out the baby with the bathwater.

Brbr_kent
June 29, 2011

Ugh.

Midnite
June 29, 2011

There is no splitting hairs here. What you're saying is that to prevent being sexually assaulted I shouldn't dress to attract them? That's funny. The first time I was raped I was wearing baggy jeans and a long sweater. What reaction was I looking for there? I do dress modestly, but that hasn't prevented me from being attacked.

There *have* been numerous interviews with rapists, and one thing that is consistent in many of them, was that the women they chose to attack was *not* chosen based on her dress. Rape is a crime of opportunity. It's a crime of violence, and has *nothing* to do with sex.
 
What you are suggesting is that men are animals, that they have no self control around women at all. That the only way a woman can prevent being attacked is to be at home, alone, wearing a burqua, with all the doors and windows locked. Oh, wait. That doesn't always protect someone either.

When I walk in my city's SlutWalk, I'll be dressed the same way I always do. Ankle length skirt, long sleeves, and my hair covered. The exact same thing I was wearing the second time I was attacked. I must be a slut, dressing the way that I do.

Beverly Diehl
June 30, 2011

The answer to your question is NO, a person cannot decrease their chances of being raped by dressing modestly.  Less than 5% of rapes involve any participation by the victim.  Over 60% of single assailant rapes are planned.  http://writinginflow.blogspot....  Most convicted rapists do NOT remember what their victim was wearing.  Rapists often don't ejaculate, and may have trouble achieving or maintaining an erection.

For the billionth time, RAPE IS ABOUT VIOLENCE, NOT SEX.

Andi
June 30, 2011

I go back and forth with how I feel about Christians.  Maybe some of you should reread your comments and try to put yourself in the shoes of a non-Christian.  What type of example are you setting?  What kind of spokesperson for Jesus are you?  Some of you are empathizing with the intent behind these walks.  Others are using this post to rally behind some sort of unified hatred.  I see more Christians rallying around hatred than love; on the internet, media, and in churches.  You may not see yourselves as spokespeople or examples, but this is a public forum so you are.

Stepout
June 30, 2011

It is surprising to me that not one person has mentioned Pornography.  A march should be made against Porn and the vast consequences it has on our society, our marriages, and the way women are viewed.  Porn is a serious problem. Research has shown a connection between porn and rape. Not everyone who views porn commits rape, but most all rapists view porn, a lot of it. I think it is watching porn that the idea "women are asking for it" is formed.

Ann O'Nymous
June 30, 2011

Caryn, thank you for reminding me that there are still some Christians left in the world who have empathy and compassion, and who support the right of women not to be raped. Some of the commenters on here who bash your article are absolutely frightening to me.

Beverly
June 30, 2011

I agree that what you wear can convey a message to others, but it is a way of self-expression that does not always match how the person really is. My friend dresses in punk/semi-"goth" clothing, and she's the nicest, purest christian I know. Anyways, the point of the article, and the walk is that clothing DOES NOT give a man a justification for rape, not matter WHAT they are wearing nor how they act.

Salome0431
June 30, 2011

http://www.law.duke.edu/shell/...

Modest dress apparantly INCREASES risk of rape, and it doesn't matter anyway because deflecting rape onto another victim does NOTHING to stop rape.

Salome0431
June 30, 2011

http://www.law.duke.edu/shell/...

Here is the research wrt clothing and rape.  Note that dressing modestly INCREASES a woman's risk of being raped.

Salome0431
June 30, 2011

At the same time spake the lord by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, go and lose the sackcloth from off thy loins, and put off the shoe from thy foot.  And he did so, walking naked and barefoot.  And the lord said, ie as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and barefoot for three years for a sign and a wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia; so shall the king of Assyria lead away the Egyptians prisoners, and the Ethiopians captives, young and old, naked and barefoot, even with their buttocks uncovered, to the shame of Egypt. (Isaiah 20:2-4)

See here, the prisoners of Egypt shall be naked to show the shame of Egypt.  I think the Bible explicitly condones SlutWalks.  By our slutty dress (or not, I wore jeans and a sweater because that is what I wore when I was raped) we are shaming rapists.
And obviously God has no problem with nudity.

Anonymous
June 30, 2011

All rapists eat breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner as well, but we aren't marching against meals, are we?  I've yet to see a study--and perhaps you've seen one that I haven't--that proves porn forms a "women are asking for it" mentality.  There is, to the contrary, an interesting study suggesting porn helps prevent rape.  http://anthonydamato.law.north...

Carolyn
June 30, 2011

And people have been trying to do so "modestly" for a very long time. The fact is that slut-shaming is still alive and well both in the public's mind and in the courts. It needs to stop. Teaching one's daughter to respect herself and her body includes teaching her that NOTHING she can do makes her deserve to be raped. I know you weren't implying that the reverse is the case, but in a culture that so often purports that women are to blame for the violence perpetrated against them, it's important to teach girls and young women that rape can never be their own fault.

Kati Feith
June 30, 2011

Thank you for sharing such a powerful and personal story. I think you are extraordinarily brave, and I am so, so sorry that you had to go through the things you have survived. 


Oh, and I completely agree with your point as well!

Kati Feith
June 30, 2011

I am so encouraged by this article, and by the commenters who are bravely standing up for the right of women to walk safely down the street, regardless of their clothes. 

To those who argue that Christians cannot condone immodest dress, it seems to me that you are implicitly condoning predatory behavior. Even women who don't dress modestly, who aren't Christians, who have sex outside of marriage, or who do anything else you disapprove of DO NOT DESERVE RAPE AND ABUSE. Period. To not uphold and defend all people's right to a life free of violence and abuse is to deny the fact the we were all created in God's image. Even the sluts among us.

Toby
June 30, 2011

I fully and wholeheartedly agree that it is never the victim's fault. She could be walking around naked and it still wouldn't be her fault; and if she truly had that "asking for it" look and the aggressor truly just wanted to fulfill her desire, then it wouldn't be rape, it would be promiscuous sex. Just like a number of other people have said, rape is primarily about the abhorrent desire for control and power that manifests itself sexually. So I'm definitely not knocking the message the author is presenting.

But I don't fully agree with the way she is finding her action in the cause. First of all, that passage in Corinthians is telling you not to do something because it may afford a brother or sister an opportunity to stumble. It is not saying to not do those things, wear certain clothing in this situation, because they'll keep you safe. There are messed up people out there who, no matter what you do, will find some justification to do what they want to do. A woman could be dressed up in ten layers of clothing, not showing any body shape, and still be raped. It is INCREDIBLY unfortunate that this happens in our world, but it is something we have to deal with with a Christ-like, loving, faithful heart and mind. Does it passionately anger me that people commit these atrocities? Yes, almost too much. But that still does not give me or any of us the right to go outside of God's word to address this. Ephesians 4:29- Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths... 1 Timothy 2:9- I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety... (and no, I'm not all for making women submit because of that passage, I honestly am not fully sure how I feel about that yet, but thats another conversation) Galatians 5:19- The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery... those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. (I'm referring to the rapist, not the protestors)

We cannot control how others will act, only how we act and respond to those around us. I do not think being involved in this type of protest is a very righteous way to approach the issue of rape, no matter how noble the cause is. And although this article is about rape, we need to understand how immensely important it is for us to be aware of how we conduct ourselves daily as spokesmen and women for Christ.

Jay
July 1, 2011

There are ways to deal with this,other than flooding the streets with hundreds of police officers.You seem to be the expert here on rape and their victims.You have failed to mention what has virtually eliminated the problem in areas where this method has been implimented by authorities. On a news show last year they reported that once
DNA/rape kits were integrated into the investigation process,convictions skyrocketed and the numbers of rapes decreases.

Another avenue that should be addressed here is the mega buck buisness of pornography.(I can hear it already). How is it that one group of women are out on the streets screaming and yelling on a "slut march." On the other side picking up large sums of money to pose nude in magazines.

Jay
July 1, 2011

Wow.Finally someone on this blog is starting to get at the root of the problem.Rape is a total,extreme form of bullying.No regard for the victim and only self-gradification.Putting hundreds of police into the streets will not help the problem, as many blow-hards continue to rant.
Bullies/abusers will just have a laugh at the slut-march.

Jamesggilmore
July 1, 2011

I totally agree that rape kits should be implemented and used by authorities. Police and hospital personnel should be trained in the use of rape kits, and whenever someone comes in saying that a rapist raped her, that should be their first step. Any legal technique or technology that increases the number of rapists who are successfully charged, convicted, and sentenced is something I am 100% in favor of.

However, rape kits are still a limited tool, for two reasons. First, their primary function is to establish the identity of the person who engaged in sexual contact with the woman, and possibly establish forensically that the sexual act involved violence. They don't really help in situations in which it's established and acknowledged by both parties that there was sexual contact, but the dispute is over whether there was consent. The frat boy who takes the drunk girl up to his room isn't going to say he didn't have sex with her, but rather that she consented to it; the rape kit doesn't help us much there. Since a significant proportion of rapes are "date rapes" (and I'm not a fan of that term, since I think it suggests a mitigating circumstance for rape when such a thing isn't possible, but it's unfortunately the term we've got) in which sexual contact is acknowledged but consent is in dispute, and since a vast majority of rapes are committed by rapists who are known to their victims, the rape kit, while an excellent and essential tool for a criminal conviction in some cases, remains limited.

Second, the rape kit still only works after a rapist has raped someone. The woman who the rapist raped still has to deal with the psychological (and often physical) aftermath of what was done to her. Yes, more rape convictions will have a deterrent effect, but I'd suggest that even if rape kits successfully resulted in a conviction in 100% of cases where the evidence they gathered was applicable, there would still be enough rapists out there that women would still feel afraid to walk alone at night, and still be told not to wear something too revealing to that party because some guy might think she's "asking for it." Some kind of proactive solution—in which we stop people from becoming rapists in the first place—is necessary.

As to your second point, is pornography a part of the problem? I could absolutely see how pornography that involves blatant misogyny or insults, verbal abuse, or violence against women could reinforce rape culture. But I'd be willing to wager that it's only a small factor in the equation even if we're looking at media; the much bigger factor would be our cultural image of masculinity and the portrayals of women and attitudes toward women that are broadcast to the country on network TV, MTV, Bravo, E!, and a hundred other channels, or that are widely released to the local multiplex, or that are broadcast for everyone to hear on "shock jock" and right-wing talk radio shows. I'd suggest that no matter what action you think we should take to stop the media's promotion of rape culture—whether that's censorship (which I strongly oppose) or social pressure or protests—if you're going in order of effectiveness, porn might be among the last things you touch.

Outside the media, there's peer pressure (particularly, again, with masculinity), there are the silent "codes" among people, there are jackwagons like the "don't dress like a slut" cop who was the original spark for the SlutWalks, and there are the things we just accept as "normal" like catcalls and lingering stares. But the best ally rape culture has, I think, is the assumption that rapists are like the weather, forces of nature that just have to be prepared for rather than human beings who make the choice to rape. Once we as a culture start getting serious about rape as an act committed by rapists—once we get into the active voice and start saying "a rapist raped her" instead of "she was raped"—the other things will be much less difficult to change.

Kati Feith
July 1, 2011

Putting more police into the streets may not keep rapists from raping, but a better-trained and more sensitive police force will certainly help survivors of rape pursue justice. We may not be able to prevent a rapist from committing their first rape, that is true. But we can prevent any subsequent attacks by locating, prosecuting, and incarcerating rapists. The fact is, most rapes go unpunished. Police officers, doctors, nurses, social workers, and lawyers often revictimize rape survivors by blaming them for their own assault. It is often too traumatic for survivors to even attempt to press charges against their attackers when they know that lawyers, judges, and juries may blame them, critique their clothing and lifestyle choices, or even imply that they in some way wanted to be raped. 


Many, many people still believe that rape is about sex, not power. And some of those people will sit on juries or work in the justice system. SlutWalks aren't about convincing rapists and abusers to not abuse others. They are about changing the hearts and minds of those who can help survivors find justice by locking up those who would abuse others.

Kati Feith
July 1, 2011

That biking article is an excellent example of how deep and pervasive rape culture is. Even in a seemingly innocent article, the idea is perpetuated that women's clothing can "ask" for rape.

Sistersharonblcl
July 2, 2011

Thanks for the likes too all have a bless day.

Jay
July 2, 2011

Rape kits are here now.Where in place,a huge success.The TV news report interviewed officers from the front line.DNA technology is helping to solve many cold cases and free the wrongly accused from prison as well. It is a huge deterant force,as rapists will think twice before sexually abusing another person.
As for "date rape',one post here raised the point of bullying.Using drugs and alchohol to sedate the victim surely points to that type of person.
Another more recient posting wondered why pornography has not been talked about.We really should have some discussion on that.Apparently,it is a multi-billion dollar buisness.Somebody is out there spending alot of money here.

Jay
July 2, 2011

You are so right.Quality over quantity is the best way to go.Much more education is needed to take away the fear factor.
How do we stop a rapist before he hits the street? Why does someone do this crime in the first place? I had to reach into my library for a  self-help book that has given me great advice in indentifying and dealing with difficult people.
Bullies, violate your rights and repeatedly refuse to listen to reason.They never admit fault and blame others.They intimidate you with aggressive body language,threats or verbal attacks.Pressure you to give in and go with what they want.

Effy
July 4, 2011

I think you missed the point of the article. Try again.

Sharon Young
June 27, 2012

Amen to that i'm like forest gump life is like a box of choclate you never know what hand you may be dealt. have a bless day in the lord.

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