Parenting is not a covenantal relationship. Marriage is.

Tamara Hill Murphy

Tamara Hill Murphy
October 22, 2014

If American parenting is killing the American marriage, it is because we've mixed up two forms of affection.

October 22, 2014

Fascinating comparison of how marriage and parenting both reflect God. Thank you for drawing the distinction between them too, Tamara.

Rose Samba
October 27, 2014

' we are committed to life as far as children are concerned, and short term in marriage.' we ought to forget that sucessful parenting is a reflection of sucessful marriage. For a Godly fruit, both need true commitment.

David Greusel
October 27, 2014

Thank you, Tamara, for clarifying a very useful distinction. I read the Quartz article with great interest. Hadn't thought of kids as idols before, but recognized the risk immediately when it was pointed out. Your piece here makes some useful distinctions that the Quartz article did not. Thanks.

[email protected]
October 28, 2014

You can see the transactional idolatry.

First it's the lover "you complete me". As the inevitable crisis of co-habitation presses the couple forward (marry or leave) you take the plunge. Often you take the plunge in order to have kids.

Then as you noted the kids take center stage.

Once the kids move on it's time for a new idol. Move past spouse #1 if you haven't and move into spouse #2 for your new second young-adulthood: 50 is the new 20. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robin-korth/sex-over-50_b_5563576.html

One of the most frequented pages on my blog is Earnest Becker's Romantic solution in the Denial of Death. http://paulvanderklay.wordpress.com/2012/05/14/the-romantic-solution-from-earnest-beckers-the-denial-of-death/

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